1. 1 Lesson Objectives Difference between hearing and listening The process of listening Obstacles to effective listening Guidelines for effective listening

2. 2 Listening and Responding People tend to more focus on talking Studies show: Average person spends 45%- 53% of waking time on listening to others Total listening may even greater (radio…)

3. 3 Hearing & Listening Hearing is a physiological activity Sound wave & ear drum Other messages received at the same time (sight) Listening

4. 4 The Listening Process Being mindful Focus on what is happening in the moment An ethical commitment; Leaders must want to listen! Enhance communication Increasing understanding of what others feel & think Promoting more complete communication by others Physically receiving communication Women are more attuned to what is going on around Men tend to direct hearing in a specific way Women likely to notice contexts, details, themes in interaction Average: 300 words/min understood; 100 spoken

5. 5 The Listening Process (2) Selecting and organizing communication Study: Teachers unintentionally give more attention to male than female students… As we listen: categorize people→assess them →apply stereotype→choose a script Perceptions can be wrong, be ready to revise them! Interpreting communication Recognizing others’ viewpoint doesn’ t mean you agree with them; it does mean you make an earnest effort to grasp what they think and feel.

6. 6 The Listening Process (3) Responding Signs of being involved in interaction Remembering Recall of literal messages vs. Recall of interpretation of them Memory fading Remember less than Half / immediately after Recall 35% / after 8 hours

7. 7 Obstacles to Effective Listening Situational obstacles Message overland Message complexity Environmental distractions Internal Obstacles Preoccupation Prejudgment Lack of effort Not recognizing diverse listening styles

8. 8 Forms of Ineffective Listening Pseudolistening Monopolizing Conversational rerouting Interrupting Selective listening Defensive listening Ambushing Politics: Gathering ammunition to use in attacking a speaker Literal listening Content level vs. Relationship level of meaning

9. 9 Guidelines for Effective Listening Informational & critical listening Be mindful Control obstacles Ask questions Use aids to recall Repeating Mnemonics Organize information

10. 10 Guidelines for Effective Listening Relationship listening Be mindful Total listening: more than words, also silence & meaning buried Suspend judgment Strive to understand the other’s perspective Minimum encouragers Paraphrasing Asking questions Express support See Father-Son conversation on page 141