1. DRAFT ONLY YouMarriage Early Marriage AlternativesConsequences Patrick F. Fagan, Ph.D. Georgetown University April 2013

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5. For many: Marriage is not in their future Charts from “Knot Now”, by Hymowitz, Carroll, Wilcox and Kaye, 2013

6. DRAFT ONLY WHY GET MARRIED? But First: Which Marriage? There is a marriage to fear: Need-Love Marriage There is a marriage to trust: Gift-Love Marriage The Difference between the two

7. DRAFT ONLY Beautiful Insanity Romance Falling in Love Blindness Clear Lens Woman (or man) promises what only God can deliver St Augustine

8. DRAFT ONLY Need Love Falling in Love Blindness = Need Love The greater the deficit the greater the Need Love >> The greater the disappointment The greater the disillusionment Aside on priests and religious (young vs older)

9. DRAFT ONLY Broken family background Unmet needs Time with child in first two years

10. DRAFT ONLY Importance of marriage : Why it makes a difference

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13. $100 $27 $127 0 20 40 60 80 100 120 140 Comparative Income % Average Unmarried MalePremiumAverage Married Male Marriage Premium in Male Income Source Antovics, K. & Town, R. Am Econ Review V 94, (2004) pp 317-321 +=

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15. Of All Black Children (100%): % in Poverty or Not by Married or Unmarried Parents Married Not in Poverty Married In Poverty Not Married Not in Poverty Source: Bureau of the Census, Current Population Survey, 1998 40 35 30 15 5 Not Married In Poverty 25 20 10 0 MARRIED NOT-MARRIED IN POVERTY NOT IN POVERTY

16. DRAFT ONLY 3.93 Million Children 3.17 Million Children 0.75 Million Children Unmarried Parents Same Parents If Married Source R Rector (Heritage Fdn) : Analysis of CPS 2001 Children in Poverty In Poverty Out of Poverty

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18. Retreat from Marriage: Black Men (25-54) by Education Level

19. DRAFT ONLY Retreat from Marriage: Black Men (25-54) Unemployment Differentials Marriage (pink) and non-Marriage (blue)

20. DRAFT ONLY 2.9 2.6 2.5 2.6 2.5 2.30 2.40 2.50 2.60 2.70 2.80 2.90 Average GPA Enligsh/Math Combined INTACTSTEPCOHABIT (BOTH NATURAL) COHABIT (ONE NATURAL) DIVORCEDNEVER MARRIED GPA English/Math by Family Structure Source: Adolescent Health Survey, Wave I. Adolescents grade 7-12.

21. DRAFT ONLY 2.9 2.8 2.7 2.6 2.45 2.5 2.55 2.6 2.65 2.7 2.75 2.8 2.85 2.9 Combined English-Math Score WeeklyWeekly<MonthlyMonthly<YearlyNever Frequency of Religious Attendance GPA Score Combined English/ Math Source Ad Health Survey Waves 1+2 1995

22. DRAFT ONLY GPA

23. DRAFT ONLY Source: C. Harper and S. McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration,” ASA Annual Meeting, San Francisco, August 1998. Data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth. Family Structure: Comparative Rates Of Youth Incarceration 1 2.07 2.71 3.7 0 0.5 1 1.5 2 2.5 3 3.5 4 Raised in Intact Married Parent Family Raised in Mother-Only FamilyRaised in a Mother and Stepfather Family Raised in a Stepmother Family Comparative Rates of Incarceration

24. DRAFT ONLY Relative Rates of Physical Abuse by Family Structure Source NIS-4, 2010 1.0 5.2 4.3 10.3 3.1 3.6 0 2 4 6 8 10 12 Always Intact Married Family Step Married Family Intact Cohabiting Family Step Cohabiting Family Single Parent Family Not living with either parent

25. DRAFT ONLY Relative Rates of Sexual Abuse by Family Structure Source NIS-4, 2010 1 5 19.8 4.8 10.6 8.6 0 5 10 15 20 25 Always Intact Married Family Step Married Family Intact Cohabiting Family Step Cohabiting Family Single Parent Family Not living with either parent

26. DRAFT ONLY U.S: Partner / Spouse Violence Against Mothers Over 20 With Children under 12 Source DOJ Nat Crime Victimization Survey 1999 4 6 15 33 0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 MarriedWidowedMarried+Div+Sep Combined Never Married Rate Per 1,000

27. DRAFT ONLY U.S: Partner / Spouse Violence Against Mothers Over 20 With Children under 12 Source DOJ Nat Crime Victimization Survey 1999 4 6 15 33 0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 MarriedWidowedMarried+Div+Sep Combined Never Married Rate Per 1,000

28. DRAFT ONLY Putting it off til successful Individual vs Couple Entwined vs Free Standing Looking Seeking / Dating Courtship / Friendship Marriage Beginning

29. DRAFT ONLY Young Marrieds Beginning Fist year First child First Blush Fading Rose Blossoming Thorns Deep Friendship / Companion / Unity Goal

30. DRAFT ONLY For 16-23 year olds: What to do in matters sexual »Friendship »Chastity »Good times

31. DRAFT ONLY How NOW affects marriage down the road Sexuality (deeply us) Freud, JPII Dissipation of energy / resources Friendship capacity To give Research on giving “Who Really Cares” Arthur Brooks Unhappy ? Find someone in real need

32. DRAFT ONLY THE INDIVIDUAL AND PORNOGRAPHY Pornography is addictive, and neuroscientists are beginning to map the biological substrate of this addiction. Desensitized to their type of pornography Higher tolerance for abnormal sexuality, including rape, sexual aggression, and sexual promiscuity. Produces stronger notions of women as commodities or as "sex objects." Greater sexual permissiveness, out-of-wedlock births and STDs. Child-sex offenders are more likely to view pornography regularly or to be involved in its distribution.

33. DRAFT ONLY Porn-culture epidemic THE FAMILY AND PORNOGRAPHY Married men feel less satisfied and less emotionally attached to their wives. Wives notice and are deeply upset by the difference. Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce. Among couples affected by one spouse's addiction, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse. Both spouses perceive pornography viewing as tantamount to infidelity. Pornography viewing leads to a loss of interest in good family relations.

34. DRAFT ONLY Number of Non-Marital Sexual Partners Versus Percent in a Stable Marriage Source NSFG 1995

35. Age of First Intercourse Versus Number of Sexual Partners Source: NSFG 1995

37. The More Sexual Partners the More Likely to Abort Source NSFG 1995 8 12 18 19 25 31 34 39 43 52 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 0123456-1011-1516-2021+ NUMBER OF NON MARITAL SEXUAL PARTNERS IN LIFETIME Percent who have abortions later

38. Non-Marital Sexual Partners and Out-of-Wedlock Births Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995 1.71% 16.29% 32.89% 40.02% 44.02% 42.66% 49.45% 49.99% 47.55% 55.21% 49.89% 0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% Virgin at Time of First Marriage Had Pre- Marital Sex with First Husband 123456-10.11-15.16-2021+ Number of Lifetime Voluntary Non-Marital Sexual Partners Percent of Sexually Active Women Aged 15-44 with Children

39. Non-Marital Sexual Partners And Single Motherhood Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995 7.09% 30.21% 36.48% 38.81% 44.16% 53.07% 48.13% 47.03% 50.30% 56.98% 0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 0123456-10.11-15.16-2021+ Number of Lifetime Non-Marital Sexual Partners Percent of Sexually Active women Aged 15-44 with Children

40. DRAFT ONLY Annual Rejection Ratio: For Every 100 Children Born Sources: CDC/ NCHS report series 0.0 10.0 20.0 30.0 40.0 50.0 60.0 70.0 80.0 90.0 100.0 195019551960196519701975198019851990199519982000 Divorce OWB

41. DRAFT ONLY Charts from “Knot Now”, by Hymowitz, Carroll, Wilcox and Kaye, 2013

42. DRAFT ONLY Charts from “Knot Now”, by Hymowitz, Carroll, Wilcox and Kaye, 2013

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44. Other Religious and non Religious Groups: Natural Law, Transcendentals, Religion.

45. DRAFT ONLY The Five Basic Institutions Five Basic Tasks Church Family School Government Market InstrumentalRelational

46. DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Capacities Reflection Sexuality Intelligence Force / Benevolence Work

47. DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of the Individual Church Family School Gov Market

48. DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of the Couple Church Family School Gov Market Church Family School Gov Market

49. DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of the Family Church Family School Gov Market Church Family School Gov Market Church Family School Gov Market

50. DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of Society Church Family School GovMarket Church Family School Gov Market Church Family School GovMarket Church Family School Gov Market Couple Family

51. DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Needs Of Society Goodness & Meaning To Mate & Produce the Next Generation To Know Safety & Justice Material Goods

52. DRAFT ONLY Belonging: Male + Female Family Child / Adult FatherMother Society At Large

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55. Society’s Foundational Relationship

56. DRAFT ONLY The Non-Thriving Marriage / Child Relationship

57. DRAFT ONLY Society’s Foundational Relationship

58. DRAFT ONLY Free To Choose Not Free to Choose The Consequences

59. DRAFT ONLY Contact PFF@FRC.ORG www.MARRI.us/Powerpoints