1. AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: GRADUATION PROJECT RESEARCH PAPER Ms. Dowdy English III Honors Fall 2015

2. EDITING SYMBOLS  The circled letters WC indicate a Word Choice problem. Correct this by checking Tone – Remember this is a Formal, Didactic Essay.  A double lined P indicates you need an indention or a new paragraph.

3. TRANSITIONS AND CONJUNCTIONS  Transitions are not always just a single word. Transitional phrases which marry ideas together are more efficient. For example, “As aforementioned, statistics show that…”  Use semicolons to marry two independent clauses which are related.  Ex/ The research proves the hypothesis; it always seems to rain on Mondays.  Use FANBOYS conjunctions with a comma and Conjunctive Adverbs with a semicolon and comma  Ex/ She wanted to sleep, but she had to go to school.  Ex/ We all loved going to football games; however, the rain deterred us.

4. LANGUAGE STRATEGIES  Avoid vague descriptors (MANY, SOME, A LOT). These all mean different things to different people. Indicate a specific number or avoid all together.  Avoid contractions in Formal Writing. Not only does it improve Tone therein, but IT ALSO MAKES YOUR PAPER LONGER!!!  Be sure Pronouns are clear. Who are speaking of when you use words such as THEY, HE, etc. Be sure your reader knows.  Ex/ They all say the Panthers are a great team. (Who are THEY??)

5. LANGUAGE CONTINUED  Oxford Comma – Please use the Oxford Comma. Though it was not required for quite some time, it is important for clarification purposes and is beginning to be essential.  Ex/ We ate peanut butter, turkey and tuna.  Ex/ We ate peanut butter, turkey, and tuna.  Because and Commas – You do not typically need a comma before the word BECAUSE. However, if you invert the order, you must include a comma.  Ex/ We were late because of the rain.  Ex/ Because of the rain, we were late.

6. RESEARCH PAPER SPECIFICITIES  Citations – YOU MUST HAVE PARENTHETICAL CITATIONS! Use them to prove your points. If you do not have them, you have written an essay, not a research paper. If you use too many, you haven’t created your own ideas.  Italicize Titles of Works!  Marry your Works Cited Page to the body of your paper.  Use correct tools to incorporate citations: colon, “The text states…”, “According to…” (Remember the text doesn’t have the capacity to SAY anything.”  Ex/ Lab tests have proven that the vaccine works: “78% of rats responded to the vaccination doled out in I am Legend” (Dowdy 48).