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Published byElvin Hicks Modified over 8 years ago
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PowerPoint Presentation s How to create a poor one.
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Creating a rubbish PPP is pretty simple First you must cram each and every slide with as many words as possible. And when I say “as many words as possible” I do truly mean as many words, words, words, words, words, words, words as possible. You should use long sentences—run-on sentences— with no clear, identifiable, central topic and a lot of repetition repetition, and as much vagueness as possible, and loads of extra information. I love cabrales.
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Shoot for the moon and have loads of bullets Use bullets Lots of bullets Repetitive bullets Bullets that add nothing to the previous bullet Bullets for the sake of bullets So many bullets that the screen is crammed full Of bullets And the font gets small And the audience has no clue what bullets are important And what bullets are just for the sake of bulleting (which is such an odd word… bulleting, yes?)
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Read everything on your slide Not only should you over bullet and cram information on your slides, you should sooooo read everything on your slides as though the presentation is a script… also read directly off the screen so that your back is to the audience at least 40% of the time!
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Important Info Jam all your important information onto one slide. This way you’ll water down all your information. It will have no impact. Your audience will be left wondering: What happened? What were we supposed to learn? On what planet do we live? Remember to cram your slide full of words Bullet bullet bullet Read everything Jam it all on one slide Add cheese Use small font and pixilated font and fonts that are impossible to read Poor resolution images rock! Italic are great for illegibility Blurry, tiny charts… hurrah! Emphasize everything on YOUR slide Faint colors make for great reading Crazy and slow transitions steal the show Leggo my Logo! I love movies that don’t load and images that are missing But most imppportantally do’t forget to 4git 2 eddit!!!
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Cheezy Clip Art The more nonsensical the better. Butter.
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Don’t care if your text size makes the front row attendees squint
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Pixilation Station Use poor resolution images and then tell your audience about pixilated image… and then apologize to them.
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Use complex charts and graphs… and apologize I’m sorry, Raghad.
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EMPHASIZE Put everything in italic so that it is nearly impossible to read the page. Also bold bold bold your PRESENTATION so that NOTHING and I MEAN nothing is obviously important.
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FONT If you aren’t satisfied with tiny font, you can always use font color that is faint. Or better yet use a font that is impossible to read!
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Animated Text AND Transitions Use lots of animated text and transitions… and do this with “medium” speed so your audience doesn’t miss out on your awesome design talents! And don’t forget SOUND EFFECTS. Silly ones.
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Use a distracting template peppered with your nonsensical logo. Use the logo to obscure any important information you wish to share.
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Movies Use images and/or movies as filler. Or even better: Don’t save your movie/image in your PowerPoint file Or don’t have the correct URL Or embed a URL but neglect to check if internet will be available on the computer you shall use. X
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Finally Its vary vary inportant two presant yore presentasion with out propperly editting, speel chequing, timing, and/oar rehearsting.
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Finally, finally Plagiarize Never include a work cited page Never give proper credit for images/video/text used And if you do give credit, certainly never use in-text citations and MLA formatting.
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