1. The State of Our Unions Social Health of Marriage in America 2003 Barbara Defoe Whitehead & David Popenoe

2. Marriage: A Social Institution Marriage is central to the nurture & raising of children. It is the social glue that reliably attaches fathers to children. It contributes to the physical, emotional, and economic health of men, women and children, and thus to the nation as a whole. It is also one of the most highly prized of all human relationships and a central life goal of most Americans. Whitehead & Popenoe (2003)

3. State of Our Unions Recent increase in percentage of children in two-parent families Sharp increase in cohabiting couples with children Less than one-third of households have children Psychosocial well being of children appears to be declining

4. State of Our Unions A robust body of evidence indicates that children do best when they grow up with both married biological parents in a low-conflict relationship. Other children have a higher risk for poverty, economic insecurity, emotional & school problems, & unwed teen pregnancy. Studies controlled for race, income, and family background.

5. State of Our Unions The possibility or presence of children is the key reason that the state and society treat marriage differently from other intimate relationships. Children can no longer count on their parents marriage as a secure foundation for their lives. Currently about 1/3 of all children and 2/3 of African-American children are born out of wedlock. [update to 40%; 70%]

6. State of Our Unions According to survey results, having a child outside marriage is now considered to be a socially-acceptable option. –40% of all today’s children are expected to spend some time in a cohabiting household

7. The Retreat of Fathers In 2000, 34% of children were living apart from their biological fathers. Fathers are increasingly disengaged from nurturing and providing for their children –Staying single longer –More children out of wedlock –Cohabiting rather than marrying –Divorcing in large numbers 28% of children with non-resident fathers had no contact with them in the past year

8. Retreat of Fathers One problem is delay of marriage due to educational and economic concerns coupled with sexually active lives. Express ambivalence about children –Source of burdensome financial obligation –Source of conflict –Result of “trickery” by women Avoid dating women with children Worry about girlfriend getting pregnant on purpose.

9. Retreat of Fathers Unmarried, cohabiting fathers fail to show as much warmth or put in as much time or money in the care of their biological children as do married fathers. Hofferth & Anderson (2003) Cohabiting men who are living with non- biological children pose a risk of physical or sexual abuse to such children. Daly & Wilson (1992)

10. The Shift to Soul-Mate Marriage According to an international survey & the National Marriage Project (2001) 70- 79% of Americans disagree that the main purpose of marriage is having children. The traditional Western ideal of romantic friendship in marriage has become an expectation of a spiritualized union of souls.

11. The Shift to Soul-Mate Marriage Little concern in mate selection is given to the partner’s potential to be a good parent. In general, people are far pickier about who they marry than with whom they conceive a child. There may be unrealistic expectations for intimacy. –Children tend to intefere with these. Only 15% of people agree that couples should stay together for the sake of the children.

12. The Shift to Soul-Mate Marriage As many as 2/3rds of divorces occur because of vague forms of psychological distress and unhappiness. Demands of work also take their toll. Many parents, especially those who both have full-time jobs outside the home are often chronically stressed, time-starved and sleep-deprived.

13. Demographics One-child households are growing rapidly Childlessness is on the rise. In 1998, 19% of women aged 40-44 were childless as compared to 10% in 1980. Children are disappearing from the neighborhood The government is expected to solve this bewildering array of problems connected to the family

14. Results Notable increase in psychiatric problems among young people –This includes non-clinical levels of anxiety among children, teenagers, and college students Indices of social-emotional well-being and social relationships are in decline (1975- 1998) Poverty of connectedness