1. Developed for: Consolidated Program Reviews, OSPI Developed and Facilitated by: Jan Dwyer Bang, MBA, CSP Coaching & Negotiation Skills: Strategies to Get to Win-Win Outcomes

2. After attending this session, you will be able to:  Identify the issues in a conflict situation and use a step- by-step process for resolving conflict.  Identify your own communication & conflict resolution style & employ techniques to work better with others’ styles.  Use communication and listening skills to be more effective in solving conflict.  Help district staff differentiate between issues and positions.

3. After attending this session, you will be able to:  Describe how to initially scope and prioritize problems.  Define coaching as it relates to problem solving, and explain why it matters.  Describe the characteristics of effective coaching.  Define humble inquiry and explain how it opens the door to coaching.  Describe how to recognize when coaching isn’t working and what to do about it.

12. What is the #1 thing you would like to learn?  Help to provide constructive feedback that invites collaboration  Help district staff differentiate between issues and positions  How as a department/program team can collaborate & communicate common messages while respecting the differences we each bring to the conversation  Communicate  Approach a conflict in a constructive manner  Skills for resolving conflict with people in positions of authority  Resolving conflict & enhancing my personal communication style

13. What is the #1 thing you would like to learn  How to approach difficult conversations  How to more effectively approach tasks when working with others’ styles  Techniques for working with districts to meet compliance when they do not agree with the purpose behind the task  Dealing with difficult co-workers  Framing good coaching questions to districts

15. Challenges  District personnel getting angry  Districts lacking knowledge of changes to RCWs and WACs  Resistance to the need for change  Ensuring that we (Title I/LAP Program Supervisors) are consistent with our expectations  District Staff not having understanding of compliance requirements  Lack of Department and Program clarity and uniformity on responses to districts regarding required information  District’s misidentification of program requirements, uploading or producing wrong evidence, confusion of Title I/LAP Program Requirements

16. Challenges  Talking through items of non-compliance  When districts continue to submit the same inadequate evidence over and over without attempting to communicate with the agency to get technical assistance  Identifying areas for improvement/noncompliance that make districts feel vulnerable and anxious  Instructors that do not want to comply with districts’ needs to meet the federal requirements  Multiple email reminders to complete work which has already been done/District Follow-up  Communicating the legal importance of the work I’m asking districts to complete

17. Would like to do after attending this class: Provide honest feedback that will support positive student outcomes while fostering open communication and partnership with district To communicate in a clear, succinct straightforward manner Provide better technical assistance Improve my de-escalation skills Effectively navigate situations that are confrontational Feeling more confident when giving my input here at work Get corrected documentation faster (from non-compliant districts) Dealing with conflict when conflict is “against the system” Know how to deal with difficult people Have a system to track what has been done

18.  People want to work together  People can work together to solve mutual problems  People respect each other's right to participate in decisions that affect them  People respect each other’s integrity  People respect each other’s capabilities  People want to reach a mutually acceptable agreement Assumptions behind Win-Win Strategies

20. 20 Win-Win Discussions 1. A free flow of information, where people share openly and honesty 2. Mutual understanding, where each person understands the other person’s side 3. Enhanced relationships 4. Increased trust 5. A Win-Win Outcome

22. Separate the People from the Problem The process by which negotiators remain focused on the problem at hand rather than on the individuals and personalities at the table. Adapted from Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Ury & for the Second Edition, Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project) Principles of Win-Win Discussions

23. Put yourself in the other’s shoes Do not deduce another’s intentions from your fears Do not blame another for your problem/reaction Look for opportunities to act in ways inconsistent with the other’s negative perception of you/your side Give them a stake in the outcome Ways you can understand the other person’s side:

24. Recognize/understand emotions – theirs and yours Make emotions explicit and acknowledge them as legitimate Allow the other side to let off steam Do not react to emotional outbursts Use symbolic gestures Remember that it is not the facts but the stories of the facts that causes us emotions Deal with Emotional Issues

25. People may not be talking to each other in a way as to be understood Even when you think you’re speaking clearly, the other side may still not hear you Misunderstandings lead to communication difficulties Communication Challenges

26. Focus on Interests, Not Positions The ability to discover the motivation that lies behind a stated position. Adapted from Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Ury & for the Second Edition, Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project) Principles of Win-Win Discussions

27. Your position is something you have decided upon. Your interests are what caused you to make that decision.

28. The Orange

29. Things you say you wantUnderlying motivations DemandsNeeds and concerns Things you say you will or won’t do Fears and aspirations What you try to satisfy Positions (what you decided) Interests (why you decided) Focus on Interests, not Positions

30. Make yours come alive Acknowledge theirs Put the problem before your answer Look forward, not back Be hard on the problem, soft on the people Focus on Interests, not Positions

31. Basic Principles for Communication  Be direct  Be clear  Be human  Be flexible

32. Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said Speak to be understood Speak about yourself, not about them Speak for a purpose Communication Tips

33. Acknowledge and validate the emotion Acknowledge and validate the content Paraphrasing Restating Parroting Listening

34. Common Language Safe for everyone to use Non-threatening Non-judgmental

35. Active Thoughtful

36. QuestioningAccepting

37. Active Thoughtful AcceptingQuestioning

38. PPT 4-4 Thoughtful Steadiness Accepting Influence Accepting Steadiness Active Questioning DominanceInfluence Active Dominance Questioning Conscientiousness Direct, results-oriented Expressive, Relationship Analytical, DeliberateSupportive, Cooperative

39. 39  Goals  Fears  Motivations People Have Different  Ways of seeing the world People are Different

40. The Skill of Asking Questions Open-Ended Closed-Ended Test assumptions Manage conversation Clarifying questions Probing Questions

41. A Day in the Life Describe what it is like to be your style Use your profile and experience Use words, statements, pictures, etc. Consider the questions on the handout

42. Conflict and Stress

43. Behaviors in the extreme In normal situations Under pressure Extreme behavior DIn charge, decisive DemandsLeaves iPersuasive, enthusiastic OversellsGives up Pouts SSupportive, friendly Gives inActs hurt Accuses CCareful & QuietIs indecisiveGets emotional Attacks

44. D i S C Tends to: ASSERT Tends to: SUPPRESS

45. D i S C Focuses on: FEELINGS Focuses on: LOGIC Responses to Conflict

46. WITHDRAW Goal: Justice COMPLY Goal: Harmony EXPRESS Goal: Acknowledgement DEMAND Goal: Victory Focuses on: FEELINGS Tends to: SUPPRESS Focuses on: LOGIC Tends to: ASSERT

47. There is no best style. All styles have strengths and limitations. All styles can be more or less effective. People are a mixture of styles. There are no good or bad styles. Remember That… Introduction to People Reading

48. Body Language Posture Use of hands Facial expressions Tone Pace Inflection Volume Words Observable Behavior

49. No one has a “pure style” People reading is not designed to label people People reading can help us interact more effectively with others Review

50.  Goals  Fears  Motivations  Ways of seeing the world Considerations

51. Step 1 : Recognize People have different communication styles.

52. Step 2: Understand Step 1 : Recognize People have different Goals Fears Motivations Ways of seeing the world

53. Step 3: Adapt D C S Step 2: Understand Step 1 : Recognize Develop productive interactions by adapting as needed. D C S i

54.  What is your communication style?  What happens when you are stressed?  Identify what you need from the team to be effective.  As a team, talk about how you can work together. Enhancing Team Effectiveness

55. Is there a predominant style that describes your team?  D culture – quick decisions, direct answers and a competitive atmosphere. Interpersonal communication may suffer in this environment and those less assertive may feel overwhelmed  i culture – energetic atmosphere, a focus on innovation, and lots of time spent in meetings or social gatherings. Those less people-oriented may be frustrated by the focus on group activities and poor planning and lack of details may prevent an I culture from implementing any ideas

56.  S culture – stability, predictability, and friendliness. Values strong teamwork and a management work-life balance. Stagnation may be a risk in this culture and efforts to move the organization forward may met with hesitation  C culture – quality, accuracy, and order. Cynical toward new ideas and trust usually has to be earned. The group may miss opportunities because it spends so much time analyzing and may resist growth for fear of lowering its standards Is there a predominant style that describes your team?

57. Implications of Group Culture What does your group value the most? What types of behaviors does it reward? What does it encourage?  D culture - Results, independence, achievement, decisiveness, and success  i culture - Enthusiasm, optimism, collaboration, passion, and fun  S culture - Thoughtfulness, teamwork, humility, stability, and harmony  C culture - Accuracy, dependability, precision, competency, and quality

58. What is Conflict? A disagreement, battle, collision, emotional tension, the opposition of persons… -Webster’s Dictionary

59. Antecedent (Event) Belief (About the event) Consequence (Anger, hurt, defensiveness)

60. Men are not troubled by things themselves, but by their thoughts about them -Greek Philosopher Epictetus

61. A significant disagreement or opposition of needs, interests, or concerns with another person. Usually, there is a real or perceived threat or opposition to one’s own needs, interests, or concerns. Conflict

62. Conflict Management Style

63. Win-Win Approach 1.Discuss the area of conflict & desired outcome or purpose. 2.Uncover root causes to better understand the conflict. 3.Identify areas of common agreement and areas of disagreement. 4.Problem solve and generate options. 5.Get consensus on commitments and/or next actions.

66. Basic Roles of a Coach A coach takes an “ask” vs. “tell” approach. A coach guides another person through questions, not directives. A coach helps the person find their own answers and take action.

67. Basic Roles of a Coach The tools of a coach are listening and asking powerful questions. A coach helps employees provoke thought rather than giving directions.

68. Basic Roles of a Coach A coach can include a feedback mechanism so that the person is held accountable for his or her goals. Coaching employees or individuals includes setting goals, taking action, and tracking progress.

69. Coaching Assessment

70. Coaching Skills Input ◦Observing – What the person says; How the person communicates; themes and patterns; communication style

71. Coaching Skills Input ◦Listening –Ability to focus completely on what the person is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the person’s desires, and to support person’s self-expression. ◦(Adapted from ICF description of active listening)

72. W = Why A = Am I = I T = Talking?

73. Coaching Skills Output ◦Questioning –Powerful questions invite possibilities, discoveries, and insights

74. Telling or asking closed questions saves people from having to think. Asking open questions causes them to think for themselves. -John Whitmore

75. Coaching Skills Output ◦Informing – Helping the person see things from a fresh perspective; offering your input.

76. Coaching Skills Output ◦Challenging – Courageously calling out certain behaviors; asking a penetrating question.

77. Coaching Skills Output ◦Encouraging – Affirm the person, recognize forward movement, acknowledge accomplishment (Verbal and Non-Verbal forms)

78. Coaching Skills Output ◦Supporting – Helping the person see themselves in a new way, providing tools and resources, communicate your accessibility.

80. Action Planning

81. Developed for: Consolidated Program Reviews, OSPI Developed and Facilitated by: Jan Dwyer Bang, MBA, CSP Coaching & Negotiation Skills: Strategies to Get to Win-Win Outcomes