1. Self-Esteem ARR

2. What is Self-Esteem? Everyone, at some point or another, is uncertain about themselves, lacks self-confidence, doubts their abilities or thinks negatively of themselves. Everyone, at some point or another, is uncertain about themselves, lacks self-confidence, doubts their abilities or thinks negatively of themselves. You might have heard and seen similar words like “self-image,” “self-perception” and “self-concept.” All these terms refer to the way we view and think about ourselves. As human beings, we have the ability to not only be aware of ourselves but also to place a value or a measure of worth to ourselves or aspects of ourselves. You might have heard and seen similar words like “self-image,” “self-perception” and “self-concept.” All these terms refer to the way we view and think about ourselves. As human beings, we have the ability to not only be aware of ourselves but also to place a value or a measure of worth to ourselves or aspects of ourselves.

3. What is Self Esteem? Having the human capacity to judge and place value to something is where we might run into problems with self esteem. Having the human capacity to judge and place value to something is where we might run into problems with self esteem. Take a few minutes to write a short description of yourself. Take a few minutes to write a short description of yourself. How did you describe yourself? What words did you use? Is your description of yourself generally positive, balanced or negative? What value did you place on yourself or aspects of yourself? How did you describe yourself? What words did you use? Is your description of yourself generally positive, balanced or negative? What value did you place on yourself or aspects of yourself?

4. What is Low Self-Esteem? Have you ever been dissatisfied or unhappy with yourself on the whole? Do you ever think that you are stupid, weak, not good enough, flawed in some way, worthless, useless, unattractive, unlovable, a loser or a failure? Have you ever been dissatisfied or unhappy with yourself on the whole? Do you ever think that you are stupid, weak, not good enough, flawed in some way, worthless, useless, unattractive, unlovable, a loser or a failure? Everyone uses these words on themselves at times, usually in a challenging or stressful situation. Everyone uses these words on themselves at times, usually in a challenging or stressful situation. Low self-esteem is having a negative overall opinion of oneself, judging or evaluating oneself negatively, or placing a general negative value on oneself as a person. Low self-esteem is having a negative overall opinion of oneself, judging or evaluating oneself negatively, or placing a general negative value on oneself as a person.

5. What is Low Self-Esteem? Based on what has been described about low self-esteem, do you think you are experiencing this problem? Have you often had negative thoughts about yourself but had not included them in the previous description of yourself? Write them down now. Based on what has been described about low self-esteem, do you think you are experiencing this problem? Have you often had negative thoughts about yourself but had not included them in the previous description of yourself? Write them down now.

6. Impact of Low Self-Esteem A person with low self-esteem might citicize themselves, their actions and ability or joke about themselves in a negative way. They might put themselves down, doubt themselves or blame themselves when things go wrong. A person with low self-esteem might citicize themselves, their actions and ability or joke about themselves in a negative way. They might put themselves down, doubt themselves or blame themselves when things go wrong. Performance--Low self-esteem can impact a person’s performance at work or at school. They might achieve less than they are able to because they believe they are less capable than other. They might work extremely hard and push themselves to do more because they believe they need to make up for their lack of skill. Performance--Low self-esteem can impact a person’s performance at work or at school. They might achieve less than they are able to because they believe they are less capable than other. They might work extremely hard and push themselves to do more because they believe they need to make up for their lack of skill.

7. Impact of Low Self-Esteem Personal Care- People who don’t value themselves might drink excessively or might not bother to dress neatly. They might try to hide any inadequacies of their appearance. Personal Care- People who don’t value themselves might drink excessively or might not bother to dress neatly. They might try to hide any inadequacies of their appearance. Leisure activities- They might avoid activities because they believe they do not deserve any pleasure or fun. Or they might avoid activities where they could be judged. Leisure activities- They might avoid activities because they believe they do not deserve any pleasure or fun. Or they might avoid activities where they could be judged.

8. The Problem with Low Self-Esteem Low self- esteem can be a by-product of a depressed mood; a symptom of depression. Additional symptoms include: Low self- esteem can be a by-product of a depressed mood; a symptom of depression. Additional symptoms include: Feeling consistently sad, down or empty Feeling consistently sad, down or empty Reduced pleasure in activities or lack of interest Reduced pleasure in activities or lack of interest Sleep difficulties Sleep difficulties Feeling tired or without energy Feeling tired or without energy Restless or sluggish Restless or sluggish Difficulty concentrating Difficulty concentrating Thoughts of death or hurting ones selff Thoughts of death or hurting ones selff

9. The Problem with Low Self-Esteem Have you experienced any of these symptoms? How did you cope with the symptoms you experienced? Have you experienced any of these symptoms? How did you cope with the symptoms you experienced? Low self-esteem can the result of current difficult and stressful life circumstances such as prolonged financial hardship, persistent illness, relationship difficulties or a problem situation that is difficult to resolve. Experiencing psychological problems (brain synapsis) such as panic attacks, chronic worrying or social phobia can also effect one’s self-esteem Low self-esteem can the result of current difficult and stressful life circumstances such as prolonged financial hardship, persistent illness, relationship difficulties or a problem situation that is difficult to resolve. Experiencing psychological problems (brain synapsis) such as panic attacks, chronic worrying or social phobia can also effect one’s self-esteem

10. Early Life Experiences Fact v. Opinion Fact v. Opinion A fact is evidence based. A fact is evidence based. “My hair is curly.” “My hair is curly.” An opinion is perception based. An opinion is perception based. “My hair is ugly.” “My hair is ugly.” Beliefs about ourselves are based on early life experiences. In other words, we believed what adults told us; we trusted them. Beliefs about ourselves are based on early life experiences. In other words, we believed what adults told us; we trusted them. Now, we learn from direct experiences, the media, observing others and listening to what others say. Now, we learn from direct experiences, the media, observing others and listening to what others say. As you can see, we are constantly bombarded with other’s beliefs about ourselves. As you can see, we are constantly bombarded with other’s beliefs about ourselves.

11. Early Life Experiences Punishment, Neglect or Abuse Punishment, Neglect or Abuse How we are treated earlier in life affects the way we see ourselves and who we are. This can leave emotional and psychological scars. As a result, one may come to believe very negative things about themselves. How we are treated earlier in life affects the way we see ourselves and who we are. This can leave emotional and psychological scars. As a result, one may come to believe very negative things about themselves. Difficulty in Meeting Others Standards Difficulty in Meeting Others Standards Constantly being criticized, focusing on weaknesses and rarely acknowledging positive qualities, or frequent teasing may also cause negative beliefs about one’s self. Constantly being criticized, focusing on weaknesses and rarely acknowledging positive qualities, or frequent teasing may also cause negative beliefs about one’s self.

12. Early Life Experiences Not Fitting In Not Fitting In Being the “odd one out” or the “black sheep of the family” are common phrases one might hear from others. One may not have been criticized but others may have been overly acknowledge or celebrated. Being the “odd one out” or the “black sheep of the family” are common phrases one might hear from others. One may not have been criticized but others may have been overly acknowledge or celebrated. Difficulty Meeting Peer Standards Difficulty Meeting Peer Standards Adolescence may feel that their physical appearance is being judged by peers and media. Many of these factors are uncontrollable due to hormones. Adolescence may feel that their physical appearance is being judged by peers and media. Many of these factors are uncontrollable due to hormones.

13. Early Life Experiences Being on the receiving end of other stress Being on the receiving end of other stress When families experience stressful life events, parents may need to give their attention to dealing with the problems that have occurred. Therefore, children may not be given the attention that is needed. This could leave a child frustrated, angry, anxious or depressed. When families experience stressful life events, parents may need to give their attention to dealing with the problems that have occurred. Therefore, children may not be given the attention that is needed. This could leave a child frustrated, angry, anxious or depressed. What early experience did you have that might have contributed to the way you view and feel about yourself? What early experience did you have that might have contributed to the way you view and feel about yourself? Have you had any recent stressful life experience that have negatively affected how you view yourself? Have you had any recent stressful life experience that have negatively affected how you view yourself?

14. Core Beliefs Early life experiences can lead to Core Beliefs. Early life experiences can lead to Core Beliefs. Negative Core Beliefs are the conclusions about ourselves we have arrived at when we were children. Negative Core Beliefs are the conclusions about ourselves we have arrived at when we were children. Example: When a child is constantly punished or criticized they may come to believe “I am worthless,” or “I’m bad.” Example: When a child is constantly punished or criticized they may come to believe “I am worthless,” or “I’m bad.” Core Beliefs are evaluations of ourselves. Core Beliefs are evaluations of ourselves.

15. Rules and Assumptions We make Rules and Assumptions based on our core beliefs. We make Rules and Assumptions based on our core beliefs. Rules Rules “I must be the best at everything.” “I must be the best at everything.” “I must never show an emotion in public.” “I must never show an emotion in public.” Assumptions Assumptions “No matter what I do, it will never be good enough.” “No matter what I do, it will never be good enough.” Combined Combined “I won’t try anything unless I know that I can do it perfectly, because if I can’t, it means I’m a total failure. “I won’t try anything unless I know that I can do it perfectly, because if I can’t, it means I’m a total failure.

16. Rules and Assumptions What sorts of rules and assumptions for living might you have to help you feel better about yourself? What sorts of rules and assumptions for living might you have to help you feel better about yourself? Rules and Assumptions guide behavior. Rules and Assumptions guide behavior. Example: What happens if one of your rules for living is “I must never make any mistakes.” Example: What happens if one of your rules for living is “I must never make any mistakes.” What do you do to try to live up to your rules or standards and assumptions for living? What do you do to try to live up to your rules or standards and assumptions for living? Rules and Assumptions can reinforce core beliefs and become counterproductive. Rules and Assumptions can reinforce core beliefs and become counterproductive.

17. Focusing on the Positive You What are some of your positive qualities? What are some of your positive qualities? How easy was it for you to do this? Did you feel uneasy, sad, etc.? How easy was it for you to do this? Did you feel uneasy, sad, etc.? Start a Positive Qualities Journal Start a Positive Qualities Journal List the positives List the positives Remember past examples Remember past examples Note present examples Note present examples Record your Rules for Living Record your Rules for Living Keep your rules realistic, flexible and adaptable Keep your rules realistic, flexible and adaptable State rules positively- omit “should,” “always,” and “never” State rules positively- omit “should,” “always,” and “never”

18. Putting It All Together Having a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean that you will never encounter an at-risk situation. It also doesn’t mean that you will never again think of yourself in a negative light. Having a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean that you will never encounter an at-risk situation. It also doesn’t mean that you will never again think of yourself in a negative light. Having a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean that you are always positive, arrogant or conceited. Having a healthy self-esteem doesn’t mean that you are always positive, arrogant or conceited. A healthy self-esteem is a balanced way of thinking. A healthy self-esteem is a balanced way of thinking. Over time, negative thoughts from your past will be worn down by using a Positive Qualities Journal. Over time, negative thoughts from your past will be worn down by using a Positive Qualities Journal. BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER- Ellen DeGeneres