1. Asia Regional Equipping Seminar October 19, 2011

2. Restoration as the goal – 2 Cor. 13:9 (“your restoration is what we pray for”); 13:11 (“Aim for restoration”); Gal. 6:2 (“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”) The “starting point”

3. Restoration as the goal – 2 Cor. 13:9 (“your restoration is what we pray for”); 13:11 (“Aim for restoration”); Gal. 6:2 (“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”) Leadership is responsible to help those in disagreement – Phil. 4:2-3 (“I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel... whose names are in the book of life.”) The “starting point”

4. “Preparing to manage conflict is an inevitable part of your leadership role.” (Iorg, 160-161). Expectations relating to team conflict

5. “Preparing to manage conflict is an inevitable part of your leadership role.” (Iorg, 160-161). “A measured, deliberate response has a remarkable effect on conflict situations.” (161) Expectations relating to team conflict

6. “Preparing to manage conflict is an inevitable part of your leadership role.” (Iorg, 160-161). “A measured, deliberate response has a remarkable effect on conflict situations.” (161) “Friction is a natural part of a team’s development.” (Eunice Parisi-Carew, Blanchard Companies) Expectations relating to team conflict

7. “Preparing to manage conflict is an inevitable part of your leadership role.” (Iorg, 160-161). “A measured, deliberate response has a remarkable effect on conflict situations.” (161) “Friction is a natural part of a team’s development.” (Eunice Parisi-Carew, Blanchard Companies) While restoration is the goal and hope, good leaders realize that not all cases of conflict will be resolved and members restored. Expectations relating to team conflict

8. Failure to clarify the team’s purpose and goals (set out in a team charter) Inadequate standards and plan for team accountability Lack of resources to accomplish objectives of the team Lack of effective leadership Failure to establish clear norms governing the team’s function and dynamics (as in a team charter) Poor or inadequate planning Lack of management of team assignments and tasks Inability of the team to deal with conflict appropriately Common Causes of Conflict

9. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument identifies five common styles for handling conflict: Competing – forcing a solution, win-lose default, the “shark” Collaborating – care-fronting, the “owl” Compromising – negotiating solution that is mutually agreeable, the “fox” Avoiding – withdrawal, disengage and “clam up,” the “turtle” Accommodating – give in to the most insistent party, the “teddy bear” Styles of Conflict Management

10. Competing Avoiding Collaborating Compromising Accommodating

11. First things first Holism Objective observation Measured/Suspended judgment Cultural concession Retaining a cultural insider as advisor Developing Strategies

12. Common Sense Rules (1): 1. Ask whether this is worthy of attention or should be let go. 2. Make your approach one of concern for the person and for preservation of the relationship. 3. Seek understanding through inquiry before forming judgments and making accusations (or blaming). 4. Separate facts from rumor, partial information, feelings and interpretation. Developing Strategies

13. Common Sense Rules (2): 5. Consider how much stress the relationship can bear; this will tell you how much time and sensitivity will be required. 6. Put yourself in the other person’s place and try to appreciate his or her perspective on the matter. 7. Address behaviors rather than motivation. 8. When you detect tense emotions or defensiveness, back up and give assurances of friendship and desire to understand. Developing Strategies

14. Common Sense Rules (3): 9. Frequently acknowledge or summarize what the other person has said to assure accuracy of understanding for both parties. 10. Believe a win-win resolution is possible if both parties can remain calm, understand each other’s interests and negotiate with integrity and fairness. Developing Strategies

15. Principles for Cross-cultural Conflict (see D. Elmer) (1) 1. The degree to which shame, face and honor are core cultural values will determine how important it is to choose an indirect method. 2. If the other person has had extensive exposure to Western culture, sensitive directness may be acceptable, understood and not offensive. 3. All forms of confrontation should occur in private, if possible, so as to minimize any loss of face. 4. Familiarize yourself with the stories, parables, fables, legends and heroes of a culture in order to appropriately interpret their use in conflict situations. Developing Strategies

16. Principles for cross-cultural Conflict (see D. Elmer) (2) 5. Understand the various indirect methods used in the non-West and be alert to which ones are used and under what circumstances. 6. Build a close relationship with a host-country person who will be able to help you interpret confusing situations. 7. Ask God for help in understanding and applying unfamiliar conflict resolution strategies. 8. Scripture is the final judge of all cultural forms; prayer and discussion may be required before some cultural expressions are embraced. Developing Strategies

17. Indirect conflict resolution methods (Elmer, pp. 65- 134): 1. Mediation 2. Vulnerability – the “one-down” position 3. Story-telling and proverbs 4. Inaction, misdirection, silence, indefinite persons Applying Appropriate Strategies

18. **Breakout: [Case study exercise by groups.] First discuss the assigned case study and plan the best strategy to resolve the team conflict. How would a Matthew 18 response to such an offense and conflict look in a culture that functions by indirect rather than direct confrontation? **Reporting: One person from each breakout group report to the plenary group your plan and any pertinent issues the group had to consider. Applying Appropriate Strategies

19. Identify two primary “take-aways” from this session relating to the team leader and conflict resolution on a ministry team. Share these insights with another member of your group, and decide one other person with whom you will share these thoughts. What action step will you take in the coming six months to better prepare you as a team leader to appropriately and successfully manage and resolve actual or potential conflict on your team? Conclusion