1. EXCEL VS. GOOGLE DOCS SPREADSHEET Or: You have how normal software functions, and then you have, well…Google docs.

2. I HAVE SOME DATA I’D LIKE TO PUT INTO A SPREADSHEET. WHAT CAN I USE TO HELP ME?

3. EXCEL: Hey there! I’m Excel! I love order and efficiency. We’re going to be BEST FRIENDS.

4. GOOGLE DOCS: Well hai thar! I’m from Google. You trust everything else in your life to me, why not spreadsheets too?

5. GOOGLE DOCS: OMG don’t I look just like Excel? I can totally do everything he can. But I’m way cooler. Cuz I’m Google.

6. Ok, let’s try you both out and see how you handle certain things I often like to do in spreadsheets. How about… I WANT TO SCROLL DOWN TO PUT THINGS IN MORE ROWS.

7. EXCEL: Sure! Just, um, scroll down.

8. HERP: Scroll down?? Oh you mean you want to add a finite number of rows to the bottom of the sheet.

9. Well, uh, no, but…how about another one. I WANT TO SELECT MULTIPLE INCONGRUENT CELLS.

10. EXCEL: Just hold down “ctrl” as you select cells. You can select incongruent cells for days! Selected!Also selected!Still selected!

11. DERP: Golly, that’s a big word. Selected! No more selections 

12. Yeah… WHAT IF I WANT TO QUICKLY CHANGE THE CELL RANGES IN A FORMULA?

13. EXCEL: Check out these pretty, color-coordinated boxes I’ve got. You can click and drag to change your cell range super fast. Simple as pie! Colors! Matching colors!

14. HURR: … I’ll just guess then PIE !!1!!1! yum.

15. Oh Google docs. I so want you to be great. Let me lob one to ya. I MIGHT WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SEE THIS AND MAKE CHANGES TO IT.

16. EXCEL: Well…you could email it to them with Outlook, and then they could make changes and send you a new version?

17. GOOGLE DOCS: Oh me! Me! Me! I’ve got this one! I make it sooo easy to share and edit with lots of people!

18. GOOGLE DOCS: Oh, ANDDDddD, I’m super organized. Look how organized I am. Take that, Mr. Organization.

19. USER: Wait a GD * minute. Why are my documents and collections showing up in the same list? That’s confusing. Document Collection Document * GD= Google Docs

20. USER: And this highlight bar? It disappears if my screen isn’t angled perfectly. So I can’t tell which thing I’m taking action on. Let me just get out my ruler here…

21. GOOGLE DOCS: Um, well…yeah. But look at You can customize them! all the pretty colors!

22. YEAH, THANKS. I THINK I’VE MADE MY CHOICE. Dear Google docs: please decide whether you are a replacement for Excel and Office or whether you are a similar, but different tool. It is confusing and frustrating for users to expect to be able to do the same things, but find it’s not quite as intuitive as they had hoped. That is all. Thank you. Let’s still be friends.