1. Habit 4 Think Win-Win
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser

3. Habit 4 in Our Paradigms
Think Win-Win
Feeling
Thoughts
Behavior

4. Paradigms of Interdependence
Private Victory proceeds Public Victory

5. No Short Cuts
Can’t jump to effective relationships without the maturity, strength of character
You simply have to travel the road
You can’t be successful with other people, if you haven’t paid the price of success with yourself

6. Quick Fix

7. You can’t have Fruits without Roots
Independence is achievement
Interdependence is choice
You may have degree of success when sun is shinning but no foundation in times of difficulty
The most important ingredient in any relationship is not what we say or do but what we r

8. Entering whole new dimension
Proactive
Principles
Organized
Rich associations
Growth
Stop treating symptoms and start treating problems

9. Measure each word

10. مَّا يَلْفِظُ مِن قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ )Qaaf:18(
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: A salve (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance and due to that Allah will raise him to degrees. A salve (of Allah) may utter a word which displeases Allah without thinking of its gravity and due to that he will be thrown into the hell fire.” (Bukhari)

11. Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
Is the problem People or Paradigm??

12. Success of one means failure of others

13. Trying to get fruits of cooperation from competition
Flawed Paradigm
Think Win-Win
Trying to get fruits of cooperation from competition

14. All accountable of own deeds
إِنَّمَا يُبْعَثُ النَّاسُ عَلَى نِيَّاتِهِمْ
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“People will be resurrected (and judged) according to their intentions.” (Ibn majah)

15. Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Philosophy of Human Interaction

16. WIN Don’t necessarily want anyone else to lose They get what they want
Securing his own end, leaving others to feel secure theirs

17. Win-Lose Authoritarian approach
Prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions or personality to get their way
Love is conditional
Everything is extrinsically defined
People graded in relation to other people
Dysfunctional mentality for cooperation

18. Lose/Win No standard, no demands, no expectations, no vision
Quick to please or appease
Seek strength from popularity or acceptance
Little courage to express their own feelings
Win/Lose people feed on Lose/Win ones
Bury a lot of feelings

19. Lose/Lose
When two determined, stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact
Both vindictive and want to ‘get even’
Blind to fact that revenge is two-edge sword
Philosophy of war
‘If nobody ever wins, perhaps being a loser isn’t so bad.’

20. Win-Win Mutual benefit in all interaction Mutual satisfaction
All parties feel good about decision
All feel committed to action plan
There is plenty for everyone
One person success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others

22. Not your way or my way but it’s better way, a high way!
Win or Loose Activity
Not your way or my way but it’s better way, a high way!

23. Which Option is Best?
No Deal

24. Win/Win Agree to disagree agreeably No expectations have been created
Feel liberated as no need to manipulate anyone
‘I want to win, and I want you to win.’

25. Five Dimensions of Win-Win
Lets not do it your way or my way; Lets do it best way!

26. Think…… Think of a situation which is win-lose
What could the people do to make this situation win-win?
What win-win attitude is required?

28. Situations Character Relationship Performance Reward Process
With Husband
With parents/ Inlaws
With Kids
With Colleague

29. Character Integrity : Habit 1,2,3: Self-Awareness
Maturity: Balance between courage and consideration
Abundance Mentality: Plenty for everyone

31. Situations Character Relationship Performance Reward Process
With Husband
1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage vs Consideration
Abundance Mentality
With parents/ Inlaws
With Kids
With Colleague
Where does your relationship stand?
At what end balance is missing?

33. Relationships Emotional Bank Account and trust
Without trust, we compromise only
Without trust, we lack credibility
With trust, we put cards on table, even when we see things different
With trust, negative energy is eliminated

34. Situations Character Relationship Performance Reward Process
With Husband
1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage vs Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
With parents/ Inlaws
With Kids
With Colleague

36. Give definition and direction to win/win
Agreements
Give definition and direction to win/win
Desired results: what is to be done and when
Guidelines: parameters within which result has to be accomplished
Resources: Human, technology, financial
Accountability: Standard and time
Consequences: good or bad, natural or logical

37. Situations Character Relationship Performance Reward Process
With Husband
1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage vs Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
Do I really want to improve?
Abundance vs scarcity mentality
Result of win-lose
Benefits of win win
With parents/ Inlaws
With Kids
With Colleague

39. Rewards System System has to support it You get what you reward
Align with goals and values

40. Situations Character Relationship Performance Reward Process
With Husband
1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage vs Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
Do I really want to improve?
Abundance vs scarcity mentality
Result of win-lose
Benefits of win win
Desired result
Should and should not’s
Resources
Consequences
With parents/ Inlaws
With Kids
With Colleague

42. Situations Character Relationship Performance Reward Process
With Husband
1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage vs Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
Do I really want to improve?
Abundance vs scarcity mentality
Result of win-lose
Benefits of win win
Desired result
Should and should not’s
Resources
Consequences
Key issues and concerns
Acceptable solution
Possible new options
With parents/ Inlaws
With Kids
With Colleague

44. Lessons on win/win
Hare and Tortoise

45. I’m the fastest
runner.
That’s not true.
The fastest runner is
me!

46. Ok, let’s have
a race.
Fine!

47. Poor guy! Even if I take a nap, he could not catch up with me.

50. Loose-Win

51. The Story Continues …
Season 2

52. Lost: overconfident, careless and lax
soul-searching
Lost: overconfident, careless and lax
Why did I lose the race?

53. Can we have
another race?
Ok.

54. Win- Loose

55. But the story doesn't end here …
Season 3

56. How can I can win the hare?

57. Sure!
Can we have another race? This time we’ll go through a different route.

58. Goal

59. Loose-Loose
What should I do?

60. The story still hasn't ended …
Season 4

62. Hi, buddy. How
about doing our last
race again?
Great! I think we could do it much better, if we two help each other.

65. Win-Win

66. Check the items you do 90% of time
Actions consistent with your promises, values and emotions?
Courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of self and others
Do you have an abundance mentality?
Believe people are doing their very best and they deserve respect, consideration and kindness
You listen intently to other people’s position
You communicate clear expectations
You focus on the positive but provide constructive feedback on potential improvement areas

67. To get in touch…. Dr. Kanwal Kaisser hbheadoffice@gmail.com
Dr. Kanwal HamarayBachchay