1. Week Three: Gossip

2. Proverbs 3 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. 8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

3. Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

6. Is it Gossip if everyone is already talking about it?

8. What side of that story did you immediately relate to? Michelle’s or Amy’s? Why?

9. Some people have as their motto: “If you can’t say anything good about a person, let’s hear it.”—American Legion Magazine

10. Gossip: it’s worse than you think Our topic today is not a major theme in Proverbs, but it is mentioned in the book of Proverbs more than anywhere else in the Bible, and it is a temptation that is extremely common. The word gossip is used six times in the NIV translation of Proverbs, and four times in the New Testament.

11. Often gossip is listed or associated with slander, as in these two examples: 28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; (Romans 1,NIV)

12. Often gossip is listed or associated with slander, as in these two examples: 20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. (2 Corinthians 12, NIV)

13. The dictionary definitions of slander and gossip are not the same. Slander is, at least legally, much worse. So why does the Bible list the two together and associate the same problems to both? Gossip is negative news about someone else, usually someone we don’t like, and there is often a hurtful intent behind spreading it. So while the gossip may be true, it can easily magnify or evolve into something untrue and malicious (i.e. slander).

14. The dictionary definitions of slander and gossip are not the same. Slander is, at least legally, much worse. So why does the Bible list the two together and associate the same problems to both? Gossip is negative news about someone else, usually someone we don’t like, and there is often a hurtful intent behind spreading it. So while the gossip may be true, it can easily magnify or evolve into something untrue and malicious (i.e. slander).

15. The dictionary definitions of slander and gossip are not the same. Slander is, at least legally, much worse. So why does the Bible list the two together and associate the same problems to both? Just like Jesus equated looking lustfully with adultery, or hate with murder, gossip is the seed which can easily sprout into slander, so gossip is just as dangerous and wrong as its cousin slander.

16. There is an entire gossip industry that even many Christians enjoy without any guilt. Entertainment/celebrity gossip – who is in rehab, who is divorcing, and what they were wearing while doing all this – is probably America’s true national pastime, and it sure doesn’t seem evil.

17. Silly or ridiculous, maybe, but not sinful--The entertainment fluff shows on tv that talk about celebrity romances. There are “gossip” columns in many magazines and newspapers. Is this sort of gossip okay? If so, what makes it different from the “bad” gossip we just read about?

18. Let’s define exactly what we are addressing when we talk about the gossip mentioned in the Bible. Let’s read a few scriptures about gossip.

19. Proverbs 16:28 (NIV) A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

20. Proverbs 26:20 (NIV) Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

21. Proverbs 20:19 (NIV) A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

22. So, based on those proverbs, what are some of the traits or results of gossip that makes it a true sin? Why is it so bad? It is malicious. It is contentious. It is personal.

23. Because truly sinful gossip is malicious, divisive, and personal – it really hurts. Gossip by definition is almost always negative. If you are sharing something positive about another person, why would you keep it from that person? Positive comments are brought out into the light and given openly and without hesitation. It is the negative that is smuggled in with whispers and hidden from certain people.

25. The first danger of gossip: it easily gets out of our control There are some unique qualities about sins involved with our tongue or words that make them especially damaging.

26. Proverbs 10:19 (NIV) When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

27. James 3 (NIV) 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

28. James 3 (NIV) 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

29. James 3 (NIV) 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

30. James 3 (NIV) 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

31. The second danger of gossip: it lasts and lasts Think of one of the most hurtful things anyone ever said to you. Think of a time when you were the target of a criticism or rumor. Does it still hurt to recall that memory? Is it easier to recall criticisms or compliments?

32. Compare these three translations of two related verses: Proverbs 26:22 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. (KJV) Proverbs 26:22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts. (NIV) Proverbs 18:8 says, "What dainty morsels rumors are--but they sink deep into one's heart." (NLT)

33. All three translations, despite their differences, share the same basic truth about gossip. If we are the subject of gossip, it wounds us, and it wounds us deeply. If we are hearing gossip about someone else, we retain it deeply. Once a thought has been planted in our mind through gossip, it takes deep root, and is very hard to remove. Even if it is hard to believe, gossip makes us wonder if there is some truth to it. What we hear in private, what is said in hushed tones or behind closed doors, that is what sticks with us. That is why we have this modern proverb: “Some people will believe anything if it is whispered to them.”

35. How to keep ourselves from gossip Do you have some sort of filter, or test, or method by which you keep yourself from crossing the line into gossip? How can you tell if what you are saying is acceptable and necessary, or just gossip? Let’s apply a few verses to this.

36. Proverbs 16:2 (NIV): “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD.” What are your true motives in sharing this information? Is it just to be “in the know” and popular, is it to gain power over someone, or tear another down, or is it because you really care for them?

37. Proverbs 16:2 (NIV): “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD.” What are your true motives in sharing this information? Is it just to be “in the know” and popular, is it to gain power over someone, or tear another down, or is it because you really care for them?

38. Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Is repeating a story going to accomplish anything positive, or just prolong the hurt?

39. Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Is repeating a story going to accomplish anything positive, or just prolong the hurt?

40. Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Is repeating a story going to accomplish anything positive, or just prolong the hurt?

41. Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Is repeating a story going to accomplish anything positive, or just prolong the hurt?

42. Roddy Chestnut suggests this acrostic as a way to monitor our conversations and intents so we don’t gossip:

43. Use REAL discernment Gossip comes disguised as discernment

44. Use REAL discernment Gossip comes disguised as discernment

45. Proverbs 27:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (NIV) For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. (ESV)

46. Matthew 18:15 If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.

48. Let GOD be your lightning rod.

49. PRAY. Read Psalms-- “I want my enemies to die!” (6,7,9,10)

50. Do this until you can go and talk to them, not to defeat them, but to win them.

52. Proverbs 3 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. 8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.