1. CHAPTER 11 Description: Portraying People, Places, and Things

2. What is Description? Description presents information in a way that appeals to one or more of the following senses—sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch—usually creating an overall impression or feeling.

3. “Eating Chili Peppers” Read Jeremy MacClancy’s essay on page 235.

4. Description Using Sensory Details By appealing to the senses in language in your writing, you too can help your readers experience the object, sensation, event, or person you aim to describe.  Sight  Sound  Smell  Taste  Touch

5. Description Using Active Verbs & Varied Sentences The sweat glands open, your eyes stream, your nose runs, your stomach warms up, your heart accelerates, and your lungs breathe faster. Original Sentence: The team captain proudly accepted the award. Revised: The team captain marched to the podium, grasped the trophy, and gestured toward his teammates.

6. Exercise 11.1 Using sensory details, active verbs, and varied sentences, describe one of the common objects in the following list or one of your own choosing. Do not name the object in your description. Your description must be a minimum of 10-15 sentences. Exchange papers with a classmate. Your reader should be able to guess the item you are describing from the details you provide. 1. A piece of clothing 2. A food item 3. An appliance 4. A machine 5. A computer keyboard 6. Optional

7. Description Creates a Dominant Impression A dominant impression creates an overall attitude, mood, or feeling about the subject. The impression may be awe, inspiration, anger, or distaste. In MacClancy’s essay, the details evoke the thrill of eating the peppers for those who love them when MacClancy asserts, “they go for the burn.”

8. Description Using Connotative Language Effectively Denotative vs. Connotative  Flag: (den) a piece of cloth or traditional emblem  Flag: (conn.) patriotism, love & respect for one’s country

9. Description Using Comparisons Simile: “Biting into a Tabasco pepper is like aiming a flame-thrower at your parted lips.” Metaphor: “Eating chili peppers is a descent into a fiery hell.” Personification: “The television screen stared back at me.”

10. Description Follows a Method of Organization Three common methods used in descriptive writing: spatial order, chronological order, and most-to-least or least-to-most.  Spatial: describe a subject in terms of physical position of its parts—from top to bottom, left to right, near to far away, or central focal.  Ex: to describe a college campus- you may begin with the center building then work your way out.  Fixed Vantage Point: describe what you see from a particular position (stationary camera)  Moving Vantage Point: describe your subject from different positions (handheld camera)  Chronological: Describe events or changes that occur in objects or places over a period of time.  Describe the changes in a puppy’s behavior as it grows or to relate changing patterns of light and shadow as the sun sets.  Most-to-least OR least-to-most: to describe the smells in a flower garden or the sounds of an orchestra tuning up for a concert.

11. Integrating Description into an Essay Use the following guidelines to build effective description into the essays you write:  Include only relevant details: Sensory details you include should enhance the reader’s understanding of your subject.  Keep the description focused: Select enough details to make your point & dominant impression clear. Avoid including too many details.  Make sure the description fits the essay’s tone and point of view: A personal, for example, is not appropriate in an essay explaining a technical process.

12. Prewriting Tips for Descriptive Writing Decide what you are going to describe in your essay—a person, a place, an object. Decide as well about length. Make a list of details that best describe your subject. Consider all of the senses. Do you want to be as precise as possible or to create an atmosphere or emotion? Re-experience the place, person, or object. Write a purpose statement for your description. What are you trying to do? Create an emotion? Set a mood? Verbally photograph or record an event? Use that purpose statement to test each detail you plan to include. Do all details contribute to the overall purpose? Extended descriptions are static and may bore a reader. Careful not to record too much detail. You are not describing everything about your subject; you are being selective.

13. Drafting Tips For Descriptive Writing Plan a structure for your essay. Does it move spatially? From the most to least obvious? Does time underlie the structure of your description? You need an organizational structure to control your ideas. Refer to purpose statement. Check each detail alongside your purpose statement. Do the details in your description match with your intended purpose? Have you included too many details? Do parts of the paper seem too long, too crowded, too detailed? Description is static (with minimal action), it tends to blend with narration. Plan an opening & think of at least three possible ways in which to begin. Write sample beginnings & ask friends to rate them. Plan an ending for your essay & think of several different ways to end. How do you know you are finished? How does your reader know? Do you end with a summary? What will signal a conclusion to your reader?