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Published bySharlene Snow Modified over 9 years ago
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POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
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WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?
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WHAT ABOUT SPANKING? It is a physical assault on a child. It teaches children to deal with life in a physical way. Can lead to child abuse. It teaches outer control, and only stops the behavior for a short time. Creates feelings of hatred and revenge.
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TYPES OF PARENTING: AUTHORITARIAN: External Control Punishment Order without freedom TYPES OF PARENTING: AUTHORITATIVE (Democratic): Mutual Respect Cooperation Freedom with Order PERMISSIVE: Freedom without order No restriction, rules, No consequences
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3 R’s of punishment: RESENTMENT REVENGE RETREAT Low self esteem Sneaky Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make a child do better, first we have to make them feel worse.
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WHY DO CHILDREN MISBEHAVE? A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. Why? MISBEHAVIOR: Is based on a child’s mistaken interpretation of how to find BELONGING & SIGNIFICANCE !
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4 GOALS OF MISTAKEN BEHAVIOR: 1. Attention 2. Power 3. Revenge 4. Give-up
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Most common reason for misbehavior: Attention accounts for about 80%. Solution to All Misbehavior: Spend special time with the child
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Solution to Attention Problems: Ignore if possible Give attention when good Redirect Logical consequences Choices
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Solution to Power Problems: Withdraw Cool off, Problem solve together Win cooperation Act
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4 Steps for Winning Cooperation: Get into child’s world Check it out Show understanding Share your feelings Find a solution together
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Solution to Revenge Problems: Withdraw from revenge cycle Win child over Solve the problem Take away items they could destroy Apologize if needed
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Solution to Inadequacy Problems: Avoid pity Encourage & train Create small successes Don’t give up
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Believe that children are basically GOOD! Make sure the message of LOVE always gets through:
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TIMING: It is impossible to solve problems at the time of CONFLICT! LISTEN FIRST: Children will listen to you after they feel listed to.
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NATURAL & LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: NATURAL: Simply happen naturally No coat = cold LOGICAL: Are decided upon and imposed by parents or teachers LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: One needs to be: Firm Calm Positive toward child
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3 R’S OF LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: RELATED RESPECTFUL RESONABLE
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TIME OUT: An alternative to spanking. Gives child time to calm down & time to think about the correct way to act. Child is moved away from others – an effective consequence.
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TIME OUT GUIDELINES: Choose a location that is dull and away from others. Use time out immediately after misbehavior occurs. Length of time = 1 minute for each year of age. Don’t’ talk to child until afterwards (Make sure they understand the “WHY”). Reward good behavior after time out, as soon as they do something positive.
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DISCIPLINE STEPS: Redirect Check it out Speak to the child about the problem Give choices Use logical or natural consequences Use time out if still out of control
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