1. Alcohol in libraries!! Authorities fear the end of higher learning! Libraries only a place for books! IT IS THE END TIMES! Boozy ne’er do wells run wild in library stacks!! Our children are in danger! THE DAILY NEWS Santa Clara City Library - Since 1903

2. Old timey programs a huge hit! Sustainable living brings in bands of roving hipsters!! Many confused and disoriented by lack of a card catalog and typewriters. Demand for Pabst and Whiskey at the water fountain on the rise!

3. On a scale of one to America how free are u tonight? Paving the way for a good time, library patrons attend 80’s prom. ABC license obtained! Friends of the Library Super Helpful. Librarians get more ideas to lure them back. BRING ON OKTOBERFEST! Brew clubs, whiskey, St. George Spirits, brewing demos, international tastings, wine & paint, artisan cocktails! Expecto PatrOn & Rum Alcohol, because no good story started with a salad - Since 1903

4. LIBRARIAN JAILED FOR IDEAS. What happens when you almost have it all?  Not classy!  Not dignified!  Not worth supporting!  Not what we think libraries should be about!  Preserve the sanctity of libraries!  Liability issues Library NEWS AND GOSSIPEXCLUSIVES!!!! THE Lib RAG

5. NEWS Future uncertain LIBRARY! A lot of good ideas sometimes go un-supported. Either by funds or with this mentality of proper nature. What is the role of libraries? Do we just provide information in the same manner we have always done? What do librarians do when we have a new thing we want to try, but it’s controversial? How do we connect with our community? Where do we go? Sometimes you just have to stick with something you are passionate about. Something that you think will be beneficial to this whole idea of a library as something MORE, something other than a place that only holds books. September 29, 2015 Where will we find the illusive 20-40 single and mingle crowd? One librarian wonders. Are libraries only a place to go to study and find family focused programing? Can we service all of our community?

6. NEW TIMES NEWS Santa Clara City Library - Since 1903 A series of fortunate events. aocana@santaclaraca.gov