1. Interpersonal Communication
Chapter 6

2. Interpersonal Communication
The process of using messages to generate meaning between at least two people in a situation that allows mutual opportunities for both speaking and listening. (p. 136)
Broad definition, very general.
Includes everyone we talk to.

3. Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal Relationships –
Associations between two people who are interdependent, who use some consistent patterns of interaction, and who have interacted for an extended period of time. (p. 137)
More specific (pure) definition.
Develops from interpersonal communication.

4. Interpersonal Communication
Which individuals below would you not consider as having an interpersonal relationship with?
Mother?
Best friend?
Cashier?
Boss?
Instructor?

5. Interpersonal Communication
Complementary relationships –
Where each person supplies something the other person lacks. (p. 139)
Symmetrical relationships –
Where each individual mirror each other or are highly similar. (p. 139)

6. Activity How many friends do you have? How many are close friends?
How many are “best” friends?
Think of what you look for in a friend
In other words, what characteristics should they have?
Would you consider most of your friends complementary or symmetrical?

7. Reasons for Relationships
Proximity – Location, distance, or range between persons.
Attractiveness – How desirable is this person? How much “social value” do they have? Would he/she make you look better?
Similarity – Like or dislike the same things.
Complementarity – strengths are our weaknesses.

8. Interpersonal Relationships
Self-disclosures
The process of making intentional revelations about yourself that others would be unlikely to know that generally constitute private, sensitive, or confidential information. (p. 140)
BUILDS AND MAINTAINS RELATIONSHIPS!!!
Increases feelings of closeness or intimacy.
Tends to be reciprocal. (back and forth)
Helps others to see us as unique individuals.
Varies across individuals, relationships, and cultures.

9. Self-Disclosures  Curvilinear Relationship:   Relational
high 
Relational
Satisfaction  
low
low
high
Self-disclosure

10. Relational Development
Bonding
Integrating
Intensifying
Experimenting
Initiating
TIME

11. Relational Development
Initiating – “Hello” …
Experimenting – Sharing information at a safe level.
Intensifying – Active participation, mutual concern, both acknowledge relationship is developing.
Integrating – Mirroring. Merge social circles. Common property. Shared interests/values.
Bonding – Commitment. Exchange personal items. Public rituals that display bond. (Marriage, birth of child, deaths, etc.)

12. Relationship Maintenance
Establishment of strategies for keeping the relationship together.
Occurs throughout the development process, even though the book says it takes place after bonding.
Frequency of contact keeps relationships going.
Helps to predict how satisfied you are with your relationship.

13. Relationship Maintenance
What do you use to maintain your friendships?
What works best?
What are you most satisfied with?
What would you rather not do?

14. Relationship Deterioration
Differentiating
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Termination
TIME

15. Relationship Deterioration
Differentiating – Emphasize differences. Do things separate from each other.
Circumscribing – Decreased interaction, less time spent together, less breadth and depth to disclosures.
Stagnating – Lack of activity together. Only together for convenience. Awkward conversations.
Avoiding – Active avoidance. Negative conversations (try to hurt each other).
Terminating – Divorce, ending of relationship.

16. Relationship Stage Model
Bonding
Differentiating
Integrating
Circumscribing
Intensifying
Stagnating
Avoiding
Experimenting
Initiating
Termination
TIME

17. Relational Dialectics
Relational Dialectics – “the tension that exists between two conflicting or interacting forces, elements, or ideas…having two opposing ideas [or desires/feelings] for maintaining the relationship” (p. 146)
Both/And

18. Relational Dialectics
Separateness > < Connectedness
(Separation) (Integration)
“I need some alone time” “Why don’t we do more things together?”
Certainty > < Uncertainty
(Stability) (Change)
“I’m glad you’ll always be here” “You’re so boring and predictable”
Openness > < Closedness
(Expression) (Privacy)
“Why don’t you tell me when you’re mad” “Quit being such a cry-baby”

19. Relational Dialectics
Which relational dialectic is apparent in this clip?

20. Questions?