1.  Are you emotionally healthy enough for ministry? JOE HARVEY, DMin Associate Professor Johnson University Florida jharvey@johnsonu.edu Men’s Retreat (Lake Aurora, 2015)

2. Ministry & the Weary Well: Jeremiah 12:5  Ministry is tough sometimes. Enduring faith is needed!  "If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan? (Jeremiah 12:5 (NIV))  You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

3. Failure to Thrive

4. Why did they leave their ministry?  Burnout, Discouraged, Stressed, Overworked  Needs of Family & Children  Conflict with Church Members or Staff  Doctrinal Conflict  Church Resisted Change  Marital Conflict or Divorce Pastors in Transition, Reported Feelings (36)

5. Signs of Burnout (extreme and sustained…) Fatigue Stress Discouragement Discord (Marriage, Family, Friends, others) Hopelessness

6. Moral Failure in Ministry Moral Failure Anger Isolation Loneliness If these conditions persist, the stage is set for moral failure— especially sexual sin—in the form of an affair or use of pornography. Consider these factors in the adultery of David with Bathsheba.

7. Sanctified Zombies  “In order to genuinely own up to the effects of self-neglect, we must first own up to our reality as persons. The tragic and pervasive problem of ministry is that … many well meaning ministry aspirants forget who they are apart from any religious activity … They become holy dead persons walking” (Kirk Jones, Rest in the Storm).

8. FIVE FACTORS for LONG-TERM MINISTRY (Wheaton/McMinn) LONG- TERM MINISTRY PRAYERTIME OFFHOBBIESEXERCISE MARITAL FULFILLMENT

9. The Power of Past Pain Moses responds to God’s call with fear because he looks at the challenge through the lens of his past failure and pain. NIV Exodus 4:13 But Moses said, "Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.“ The story that we believe most, most defines us, whether it is true or not. How is your past emotional pain shaping your present faith journey?

10. Sources of Emotional Pain EMOTIONAL PAIN Physical Suffering Family of Origin Personal Sin Shared Sins Life Events Everyone has been shaped by past pain. Our challenge is to identify how it is affecting us now. Our past pain will always describe us, but unexamined pain has the power to define us!

11. Unredeemed pain (whether acknowledge or not), plus stress, leads to disaster! It’s just a matter of time. Movie Poster Image: “Open Water” A couple is accidentally left behind during a SCUBA driving outing. The sharks are in the water and there is no place to hide. They are left in a state of hopelessness, just waiting for the worst to happen. Tragedy is inevitable!

12. Emotional Pain Creates a Living Story  “People normally and naturally live inside the story of their past pain. It shapes the present and predefines future possibilities.”  “The story that most defines us is the one that we believe most, whether it is true or not.” Source: Me (“That’s what I said!”)

13. InadequacyShameRejection Success by out- working others Stick to areas of past success, avoid ambiguity Preoccupation with your own needs and interests Diligent service to outweigh past failures Unwilling to take a tough moral stand, excessive tolerance Judgmental toward the failings of others Have trouble saying “no” to even unreasonable requests Feel awkward in group setting, arrive late and leave early Constantly looking for the approval of others Performance (earn) Avoidance (hide) Pride (tunnel vision of self) Common Inner Pain (hidden) Common Compensations (visible) 4.3 Unredeemed Pain Expressed in Behaviors

14. Hidden Stories Our emotional brokenness often leads to a private selves— ones that we hide from our friends and family. Consider Judas Iscariot! He was living two lives: one good and one bad. In time, the bad, hidden life became public. Judas didn’t suddenly become a betrayer. He had be practicing betrayal all along.

15. Redeeming Our Hurts Lie (false self) ReactionMisalignmentNo AnalysisUnawareness Truth (true self) ActionAlignmentAnalysisAwareness THE PIT Pain happens! We react by creating a strategy to keep from feeling that pain again. Our strategies don’t resolve our pain and may be not aligned with God’s will. Our norm becomes our normal. We are uncritically processing our present through our past. We acknowledge our brokenness. We trace our behavior to our pain. We identify biblically where our thinking and feeling is not aligned with God’s will. We create a plan to live within God’s intentions for us and consider the influence of pain.

16. RESULTING BEHAVIORS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. PAINPROTECTIVE LIFE LESSON JUSTIFICATION

17. Symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality  Using God to run from God  Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness & fear  Dying to the wrong things  Denying the past’s impact on the present  Dividing our lives into “secular” and “sacred” components Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero, 24-37

18. Symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality  Doing for God instead of being with God  Spiritualizing away conflict  Covering over brokenness, weakness and failure  Living without limits  Judging other people’s spiritual journey Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero, 24-37

19. So, here’s the thing…  Spiritual Health is Related to Emotional Health Spiritual Health is Related to Emotional Health  Thriving in ministry requires emotionally healthy spirituality: combining theology, “psychology” and spirituality.  Read Psalm 131.