1. Are you receiving me? Key skills for effective communication Sue Duraikan

2. Objectives Learn how your mindset affects verbal and non-verbal communication See why you must plan before you communicate Get your message across more clearly Listen to and understand others better Identify words and phrases which risk shutting down open communication

3. Think right! TriggerThoughtsFeelingsBehaviour

4. Mindfulness: be aware of your… State of mind Attitude to person, situation or topic Assumptions Self-limiting beliefs

5. What’s your self-talk?

6. How does Jenny….. Show she’s planned the conversation? Get and keep Chris’s attention? Structure her message? Ensure mutual understanding?

7. Key skills Teller Get attention Get main points across Bring points to life Check understanding Understander Concentrate Ask questions Read back Encourage

8. Teller skills Why Who What How Where When

9. Frame of reference The ‘glasses’ through which each of us sees the world. We each have a different prescription which affects our understanding of the world.

10. Making an impact Verbal: what you say 7% Vocal: how you sound 36% Visual: how you look 57%

11. Key skills Teller Get attention Get main points across Bring points to life Check understanding Understander Concentrate Ask questions Read back Encourage

12. Understander skills ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’ St. Francis of Assisi

13. Questions Open v Open minded v Opinion v One at a time v Closed Leading Memory Multiple

14. Understanding practice What’s your job? What do you enjoy about it? Pick a challenge you’ve recently faced How did you cope with it? Feed back on one strength your partner has in their role, which they don’t actually mention eg. ‘It sounds like you are really passionate about doing X.’

15. Understander skills: getting under the surface Scratch the surface: facts, information Probe: opinions, ideas Search: beliefs, values

16. Calm down, dearie.

17. I think you’ll find shouting gets you nowhere.

18. Communication blocks Patronise ‘Calm down’ ‘I think you’ll find…’ ‘It was clearly stated….’ Clichés ‘I hear what you’re saying,…..but…’ ‘I understand your position.’ ‘With all due respect,…’ Judge ‘You’re over-reacting/being unreasonable.’ ‘That’s just typical of an academic.’ Impose solutions ‘What you need to do is ….’ ‘The best way forward is to..’ Avoid concerns ‘That’s not the point.’ ‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.’ ‘What do you expect me to do about it? ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Give negative message ‘… not possible’ ‘….not our policy’ ‘ can’t do that’ Be defensive ‘ Look, it’s not my fault.’ ‘But I wasn’t informed of that.’ ‘That’s not true.’

19. Key elements of successful communication The right climate A genuine dialogue Willingness to be open Purpose achieved