1. SEXUAL ABUSE Lesson 5 I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT ANYONE WHO WORKS AROUND CHILDREN UNDER 18 ARE MANDATORY REPORTERS. THIS MEANS THAT IF WE HEAR ABOUT A CHILD BEING ABUSED, WE LEGALLY HAVE TO REPORT IT. THIS IS FOR THE PROTECTION OF THE CHILD AND TO GET THE FAMILY HELP.

2. THIS LESSON ON SEXUAL ABUSE IS NOT MEANT TO SCARE YOU, BUT TO EMPOWER YOU. IT WILL GIVE YOU KNOWLEDGE ON HOW TO AVOID ABUSE AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS BEEN ABUSED. SO PLEASE, PAY CLOSE ATTENTION AND LEARN HOW TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE.

3. About 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be victims of sexual abuse by age 18. Yes, this includes boys. The Sad Truth

4. Important to Know:  Sexual abuse is unwanted touching of another person’s private parts covered by underwear.  It is usually committed by someone the victim knows (relatives, friends, youth leaders, babysitters, etc.).  The abuser can be male or female, young or old, rich or poor, etc.  Both boys and girls can be victims.

5. SEXUAL ABUSERS... are BIG manipulators. want POWER and CONTROL. use FEAR to keep the victim from telling. try to make the victim think it was his/her fault. can be male or female, young or old.

6. MANY ABUSERS HAVE STEPS. THEY MAY: ~ start paying a great deal of attention to their victims. ~ start giving their victims gifts, taking them places, or filling a need in their lives. ~ begin talking to the victims about sex. ~ make inappropriate, sexual comments or conversation. ~ try to share pornography (inappropriate pictures) or ask to take pictures of the victim. ~ threaten their victims.

7. IF SOMEONE FORCES SEX ON YOU:  Don’t blame yourself; it is NEVER your fault.  Get help; REPORT the abuse to a trusted adult (parent, teacher, nurse, etc.)  Keep telling until something is done, but don’t EVER lie and say it happened if it did not.  Get counseling to help you.

8. HOTLINES: National Child Abuse 1-800 4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) National Domestic Violence 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) Sexual Assault 1-800-656-4673 IF YOU CAN’T FIND A TRUSTED ADULT, CALL: You can always all 9-1-1 if you are in danger.

9. SEXUAL ABUSE SHOULD ALWAYS BE REPORTED, BUT SADLY SOME VICTIMS DON’T. WHY NOT?  They may be embarrassed.  They may feel guilty.  They may be afraid.  They may know the Abuser.  They may not know what to do or who to talk to. (None of these reasons should stop a victim from reporting.)

10. CYBER/INTERNET ASSAULT  The Internet creates easy access to sexual images.  Abusers often pretend to be pre/teens when “talking” on websites.  Abuse might occur on any equipment that has internet access.

11.  Never give any personal information online.  Never arrange to meet in person with someone you’ve only met online.  Never “chat” online with people you’ve never met.  Know that people lie on social networks. Remember, when you’re on the internet:

12. CYBER/INTERNET ASSAULT: WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? Report internet crime to a trusted adult (parent, teacher, counselor, doctor, coach, etc.) or contact: www.cybertipline.com 1-800-843-5678 You can always call 9-1-1 if you are in danger!

13. REMEMBER...  If you feel uncomfortable, listen to that feeling!  If you are abused, you have the right to tell a trusted adult.  If you are abused, it is NEVER YOUR FAULT!  If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the RIGHT to say NO, even if it’s an adult. Now, let’s learn some refusal skills (saying “NO”).

14. KEEP YOURSELF SAFE BY USING REFUSAL SKILLS & SETTING BOUNDARIES  Refusal skills are ways to say NO when you need to keep yourself safe.  At first, it can be difficult to say NO, but after a few times, it gets easier.  Saying NO & setting boundaries is not being mean or rude, it’s being assertive and that’s good. People will respect you more when they know where your boundaries are.  If you are in danger, scream “FIRE!” Try to get away! Let’s talk about some defense moves right now.

15. HOW TO SAY NO Use body language: Stand straight and look the person in the eye (or forehead; they can’t tell). You can also cross your arms or put the palm of your hand up. Walk away if you need to. Verbally say NO: You MUST say the word “NO.” Be clear, direct, and calm. Keep it short, ex: “NO, I do not do drugs.” Don’t argue and DON’T smile or laugh! Remember: if in danger, keep screaming “FIRE!” and try to get away using defense moves.

16. TODAY’S TAKE AWAY  If you are ever abused, REPORT it to a trusted adult (parent, teacher, nurse, etc.).  Follow your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  The internet can be useful and harmful. Remember never give out personal information online.  Setting boundaries and saying “no” to risky behaviors keep you safe. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. Remember, when Saying “No” – Eye Contact, Body Language, Be Direct, Walk Away.

17. LET’S ROLE PLAY Get into small groups. Each group will have a different scenario to act out. You will have 3-5 minutes to come up with a short (30 seconds) skit. Things to remember when acting out your skit: You are demonstrating how to set boundaries. When saying NO: stand straight, make eye contact, don’t smile or argue, walk away. Include every student in your group somehow. Try to be mature and keep it together.

18. AFTER ROLE PLAY: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: SCENARIO A “THE MOVIES” 1.If you went into the R rated movie and your parents found out, what are some possible consequences? How would you feel? How would your parents feel? 2.If you went into the R rated movie and your parents did NOT find out, how might you feel? Might this affect your reputation and how? 3.How does the way in which you handle this situation show respect for your parents and for yourself? 4.Going to the PG movie was the right thing to do. What positive rewards may you gain from this?

19. AFTER ROLE PLAY: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: SCENARIO B: “HOME ALONE” 1.What negative consequences might happen if you let your friends in the house and they drank your dad’s beer? 2.How does the way in which you handle this situation show respect for your parents and for yourself? 3.If you told friends that they couldn’t visit when your parents weren’t home and they showed up anyway, what do their actions tell you about your friendship? 4.Why is it hard for some to say NO and set boundaries, particularly with their friends?

20. AFTER ROLE PLAY: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: SCENARIO C: “GOSSIP IN THE CAFETERIA” 1.Why do people gossip? 2.Why is avoiding gossip and/or sticking up for the person the right thing to do? 3.How would you feel about yourself if you joined in on the gossip? Or did NOT join in? 4.By not gossiping, how will this shape your reputation? 5. Why is it hard for some people to stick up for someone who is being talked about?