1. "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz All about dogs…

2. "You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'" - Dave Barry All about dogs…

3. "In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver Beauty, my beloved paper clip." - Jennifer Hart, Arlington All about dogs…

4. "If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either." - Unknown All about dogs…

5. "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill All about dogs…

6. "The more people I meet the more I like my dog." - Unknown All about dogs…

7. "Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on." - Colette All about dogs…

8. "When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?" - Anonymous All about dogs…

9. "Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland." - Josh Billings All about dogs…

10. "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton All about dogs…

11. "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck All about dogs…

12. "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner All about dogs…

13. "Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer." - Leo Rosten All about dogs…

14. "Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up." - "DEEP THOUGHTS" by Jack Handy All about dogs…

15. "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy All about dogs…

16. "I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now." - Steven Wright All about dogs…

17. "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." - Dave Barry All about dogs…

18. "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." - Joe Weinstein All about dogs…

19. "Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." - Unknown All about dogs…

20. "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear." - Norm from Cheers All about dogs…

21. "Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar." - Steve Allen All about dogs…

22. "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey All about dogs…

23. "My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!" - Craig Shoemaker All about dogs…

24. "Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." - Lewis Grizzard All about dogs…

25. "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner All about dogs…

26. "Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!" - Groucho Marx All about dogs…

27. "If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all... adopt a mutt!" - ASPCA All about dogs…

28. "There's not much you can do with a terrier, ma'am." - Los Angeles dog trainer All about dogs…

29. "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant." - John Peers All about dogs…

30. "Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers All about dogs…

31. All trees have bark. All dogs bark. Therefore, all dogs are trees. All about dogs…

32. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. " - August Strindberg All about dogs…

33. Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs. - Unknown All about dogs…

34. "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce All about dogs…

35. "A hungry dog hunts best." - Lee Trevino, US golfer All about dogs…

36. "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx All about dogs…

37. "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock." - Unknown All about dogs…

38. "One reason a dog is such a lovable creature is his tail wags instead of his tongue." - Unknown All about dogs…

39. "Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another." - Robert Benchley All about dogs…

40. "My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am." - Toby & Eileen Green All about dogs…

41. "To his dog, every man is King; hence the constant popularity of dogs." - Aldous Huxley All about dogs…

42. "Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one" - Anonymous All about dogs…

43. He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things. - Honore de Balzac All about dogs…

44. If you want the best seat in the house... move the dog All about dogs…

45. He has every attribute of a dog except loyalty. - Senator Thomas P. Gore All about dogs…