1. EXPLORING MARRIAGES AND FAMILY, 2 ND EDITION Karen Seccombe © 2015, 2012 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter 4 Love and Loving Relationships Special Topic: Interpersonal Attraction

2. The focus of Chapter 4 is love, but let’s begin with “interpersonal attraction,” –Which is the attraction between people leading to friendship and romantic relationships © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

3. Interpersonal Attraction We all want to be liked. People report that having friends, family, and intimate relationships is at or near the top of the list of what makes them happy. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

4. Ingredients for Initial Attraction What factors are associated with interpersonal attraction? –propinquity –physical attractiveness –similarity –reciprocal liking © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

5. Ingredients for Initial Attraction Propinquity: Physical proximity (nearness) –We are most likely to meet people in our immediate vicinity. –We are more likely to be attracted to people that we see most often (e.g., live nearby, work together, attend the same schools or churches). –The more exposure we have to something (or someone), the more apt we are to like it (or them). © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

6. Ingredients for Initial Attraction Physical Attractiveness: Both sexes value attraction, although men value it somewhat more than women. –The media bombard us with a narrow definition of beauty, so we develop shared standards e.g., large eyes, easy smile, straight white teeth, blonde hair. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

7. Ingredients for Initial Attraction –Men in the U.S. prefer “neotenous” characteristics in females –e.g., baby-like features such as big eyes, round mouth, full lips. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

8. Ingredients for Initial Attraction People assume that physical attractiveness is correlated with desirable traits (e.g., what is beautiful must be good). © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

9. Ingredients for Initial Attraction Among Children: –Attractive children are better liked by teachers and peers. –Attractive children are dealt with less harshly if they commit a transgression. –Teachers are more supportive and give them more opportunities. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

10. Ingredients for Initial Attraction In Job Applications: –Attractive adults are more likely to be hired even when appearance is completely irrelevant to the job. In the Courtroom: –Attractive adults are less likely to be found guilty of a crime. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

11. Why Do We Associate Beauty with Desirable Traits? Possible Explanations: –Learning: We are taught that beautiful is good. –Halo Effect: We are drawn to the positive characteristics associated with attractiveness. –Kernel of Truth: Attractive people have better mental health and self-esteem and are more confident and assertive. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

12. Why Do We Associate Beauty with Desirable Traits? –Reward by Association: If we are with a physically attractive person, we will be rewarded too. –Evolution: We want to maximize reproductive success and successful rearing of children. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

13. Ingredients for Initial Attraction Similarity: We tend to be attracted to those who are similar to ourselves in terms of attitudes, values, backgrounds, and socio-demographic characteristics (e.g., “birds of a feather flock together”). –Similarity is important in initial attraction, while complementarity gains importance as the relationship develops. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

14. Ingredients for Initial Attraction –People with low self-esteem are more likely to desire a complementary relationship than high self-esteem people. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

15. Why Do We Like Similarity? We anticipate that similar people are more apt to like us. Similarities validate our own self-worth; self confirmation. We draw inferences about a person’s character based on perceived similarity. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

16. Ingredients for Initial Attraction Reciprocal Liking: We like people who like us. –We strive to be a more likeable person, which encourages them to like us more, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy. –The relationship is rewarding. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

17. Theories of Interpersonal Attraction Social Exchange Theory One’s feelings about a relationship depend on: –the perceptions of the costs and rewards of the relationship. –the kind of relationship one believes one deserves. –one’s chances of having a better alternative. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

18. Theories of Interpersonal Attraction Equity Theory People are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs, and the contributions made to the relationship, are roughly equal between the partners. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

19. Conclusion Think of your relationship with your best friend. How do the ingredients of interpersonal attraction come into play? –Think of your romantic relationship. Do these ingredients differ? In what way? How do views of physical attractiveness differ cross-culturally? How have they differed over time within your own culture? Give specific examples. © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

20. References Aronson, E., Wilson, T.D., Akert, R.M. 2010 Social Psychology. 7th Ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ, Pearson. Aronson, E., Wilson, T.D., Akert, R.M. 2005 Social Psychology. 5th Ed. PowerPoints. Online: http://wps.prenhall.com/hss_aronson_socp sych_5/18/4781/1224084.cw/index.html http://wps.prenhall.com/hss_aronson_socp sych_5/18/4781/1224084.cw/index.html © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

21. References Bersheid, E. and Reis, H. 2009 “Attraction and Close Relationships” in The Handbook of Social Psychology, Vol. 2, 4th Ed. Edited by Gilbert, Fiske and Lindzey. Oxford University Press. Williams, K. 2006. “Interpersonal Attraction” PowerPoints. Online: http://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/2 40-'06/Lecture13-F.pdfhttp://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/2 40-'06/Lecture13-F.pdf © 2015, 2012 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.