1. Unit 3: Stress

2.  Denial – shock  Bargaining  Anger  Despair  Acceptance

3.  Can occur in any variety of sequence  One stage can last longer than others  The process can last anywhere from 3 months to 3 years  It is healthier to accept these stages and recognize them for what they are rather than fight them off or ignore them  Outside support during grieving process assists gaining objectivity and understanding.

4.  Magical thinking – believing by magic loss will go away  Excessive Fantasy – believing nothing is wrong-loss is just imagined  Regression – act childlike and want others to reassure that nothing is wrong  Withdrawal – avoid facing loss and avoid those people who confront with truth  Rejection – reject truth and those who bring news of loss to avoid facing it

5.  Shop around – looking for “right” agent with “cure” for loss  Gamble – take chances on “cures” for loss  Risk Taking – Put self in jeopardy financially, emotionally and physically to get to an answer or “cure” for loss  Sacrifice – in our pursuit of a “cure” to change loss ignore real personal needs.

6.  Self-blaming – blame self for loss  Switching blame – blame others for this loss  Blaming victim – blame the victim for leaving us  Aggressive anger – believing you have the right to vent blame and rage aggressively on closest target  Resentment – believing our hurt and pain is justified to turn into resentment towards those involved in loss event including victim.

7.  Guilt – believing personally responsible for loss  Remorse – feel sorry for real or perceived “bad past” deeds for which this loss is some form of retribution or punishment  Loss of hope – so overwhelmed that you have no hope of being able to return to calm and order our life held prior to loss.  Loss of faith and trust – can no longer trust in goodness and mercy of god/mankind

8.  Rational thinking – refute irrational beliefs or fantasy thinking in order to address loss from rational perspective  Adaptive behavior – adjust lives to incorporate changes necessary after loss  Appropriate emotions – express emotional responses freely and are better able to verbalize pain, hurt, and suffering experienced  Patience and self-understanding – recognize it takes time to adjust to loss and give themselves time to “deal with” it  Self-confidence – see stages of loss as natural and expected.

9.  End of temporal life  Terminal point to which all lives are directed  Finality of existence on earth for all living creatures Common responses to death??

10.  Let go of person, event or object in death and face resulting loss  Handle fears about death and resulting loss  Look at death in an open-honest way, not hide from, avoid or ignore it.  Accepts its inevitability in your life and lives of others  Accept changes that are consequences of death