1. Gentle care at the end of life How Soul Midwives help the dying and their families

2. A good death “Dying is an intimate and sacred process. It is best done in it’s own time, in a tranquil and peaceful way and should be at best an honouring of a life well lived…. “

3. What are soul midwives? Soul Midwives are holistic and spiritual companions to those facing the end of life They are are non medical, non religious practitioners and support the “whole” person as they navigate the end of life They offer support individual needs and help devise end of life care plans Holistic therapies such as massage, visualisation, sound, essential oils, colour, breathing techniques and plenty of TLC They create a calming, dignified atmosphere for the dying Sit and vigil at the bedside in the final hours Support with any practical or emotional concerns to ensure that the friend- our term for patient has as peaceful, loving and dignified death as possible

4. Soul Midwives in the UK There are over 500 Soul Midwives in the UK trained by the Soul Midwives organisation The youngest is 29 and the oldest is 84 Soul Midwives come from all walks of life- teachers, musicians, lawyers, secretaries, shop keepers…men and women of all ages and backgrounds 40% already work as professional carers, doctors, nurses, social workers, psychologists… others are complementary therapists, or people who have something special to offer in terms of time and kindness Some use their Soul Midwifery skills at their existing work place Others are volunteers in Care Homes/hospices/cancer support groups etc

5. Soul Midwives learning an agitation reducing technique

6. Our key skills The skills we use are very low-tech We are good at listening and provide a neutral “ear” often hearting concerns that might be too difficult to share with clinicians or loved ones We help people to explore what a good death might mean to them We help them to voice their end of life wishes to their clinicians and also loved ones Soothing away fear and anxiety –using holistic tools Holding hands and helping dying people to feel safe and loved Making an environment- hospice, care home, hospital feel special and sacred and more personal We are practical and un-flappable Using touch, smell, music, to soothe and also predict how close death may be Holding the space Helping relatives to be involved in some gentle care if they would like to do this Understanding the physical, emotional and psycho-spiritual aspects of the dying process Paying attention to small details that may be very important for the friend

7. Spiritual support Our definition of the word “spiritual” is wide and inclusive. We support the beliefs of the person we are caring for. If they have no belief, that is fine too. We are able to offer simple celebrancy at the bedside such as blessings, and prayers along with deep listening dying people often want to talk about the meaning of their life and death….and we can help to ease emotional concerns by listening and participating in gentle conversation Our work in this area fulfills government recent guidelines to provide spiritual support at the end of life….. Many care homes work with us in order to gain their gold standards accreditation

8. Our time- line We often work with people from point of diagnosis when they are still feeling quite well, but know they might not live as long as had hoped This helps us to build trust and enables us plan for the type of death they would want. We help provide information, helping them to make choices. This can be very empowering for them. We will often make an end of life plan -a flexible map for the future. We might also help them to create memories for their families and friends such as recipe books, family albums, favourite jokes, anecdotes, songs, poetry family history We are there to support as the illness develops and are often called to vigil at the bedside in the final hours

9. End of life wishes Points to consider Where would I like to die ? Who would I like….or not like with me? How do I like news about my condition given to me Would I like any religious or spiritual rituals to be observed? Would I like any gentle holistic treatments to continue as death approaches? What sort of funeral would I like?

10. Best friend at bedside

11. At our friends pace not ours These conversations can only happen if the person has accepted that they’re dying and is comfortable in talking about it. This doesn’t always happen, and when it does, it may be only right at the end Our “friends” dictate the pace and content and pace… Soul Midwives have the time to really get to know the people they are working with We do not fix or rescue We are there to help and support and give TLC and help good things to happen

12. Active dying phase Eventually they will enter the active dying phase and our role shifts from pastoral care to therapeutic care and vigilling We work on a detailed model of the dying process which gives us an idea of the sort of things the friend might be experiencing psycho-spiritually, emotionally and physically We are skilled holistic practitioners at this stage and use touch, sound, breathing techniques, essential oils, simple handholding, stroking to alleviate fear and pain We work alongside the existing medical team

13. ITC consultants in Bulgaria vigilling with a patient

14. Who can become a Soul Midwife? Anyone can become a Soul Midwife as long as they have a warm heart, commitment and a genuine desire to help- experience of life is a great asset Many Soul Midwives have a background in nursing, or one of the caring professions. Many complementary therapists and counselors and want to take the SM skills into their place of work The training is an intensive three day course followed by an active apprenticeship

15. Our toolkit-small but useful items Wax battery operated candles CD’s of soothing music Essential oils- Frankinsence, Sandalwood, Fragonia Soft blankets Cuddly toy Base oils such as grape seed, avocado for massaging hands and feet Singing bowls… harp..simple instruments We also sing sometimes Homeopathic remedies, flower remedies Massage cushion Chocolate ( for us)

16. Feedback We have lots of positive comments about Soul Midwives. Recent feedback from a Care Home who have trained their staff to use Soul Midwifery: “ The techniques are low cost, simple to learn, staff have enjoyed extending their skills. They feel much more confident about helping anyone who is dying and also report that their own grieving after deaths has been easier to process. “ It’s a win win situation… we are here to help by offering to do the small and simple things that can make a huge difference at the end of life

17. Finding Soul Midwives You’ll find Soul Midwives in hospices, hospitals, care homes, prisons and out in the community They are often the linchpins of local compassionate community groups Involved and supporting community groups such as cancer support groups and Age UK Some GP’s now refer patients to soul midwives. Families and friends often contact us for help

18. Tender loving care at the end of life

19. For more information about our pioneering work and projects visit www.soulmidwives.co.uk Copyright Felicity Warner 2016 No part of this presentation may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process or stored in a retrieval system without permission of the author