1.  Think about the Hartman Personality test, was it accurate?  What did you learn about yourself?

2. Responding Appropriately to others

3.  Maintain eye contact  Don’t be doing something else while they talk  Nod your head  Say things that, “yes, right, ok, etc” to let them know you are hearing them.  Face them while they talk  BAD Example of Active listening:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg8PIK74KO 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg8PIK74KO 4

4.  If there are other things on your mind, push them aside while you are listening to them.  Don’t be trying to come up with what YOU want to say while the other person talks.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WER63A Y8zB8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WER63A Y8zB8

5.  Don’t interrupt  Wait to share your side or opinion

6.  Pause after the speaker is finished to collect your thoughts.  Think about what you want to say before you say it.  As yourself if what you want to say will get you the results you are looking for.

7.  Try not to linger over meaningless details.

8.  Clarify the other person’s thoughts by asking questions.  So you mean _____________  I heard you say that ______________  Am a right in thinking ______________

9.  Nodding  Tell them what you think  Summarize what they said  Ask questions

10.  “I” messages let you say what you think and how you feel without putting down or attacking the other person. When you are hurt, upset, or angry  An “I” message can help you talk things through without getting into an escalating confrontation.  Here is an example of the difference between a “you” message and an “I” message:  “You” message: “You selfish jerk! You think the TV belongs to you. Well, it’s my turn now.”  “I” message: “I feel annoyed when you switch the channel without asking. I want to be able to watch my show all the way through.”

11.  1) Name ___________________  2) When you ___(specific behavior)  3) I feel __(name a feeling not “that you”)  4) Because __(why you feel the way you do)  5) And I want __(ask for what you need)

12.  Write and I message to respond to the following:  Your significant other calls you a name in an argument.  Your teacher gives you a bad grade on an assignment you spent a lot of time on.  Your friend has been talking about you behind your back.

13.  Change the following “you” statement in to an “I” statement.  “You’re so inconsiderate! Why don’t you clean up this place?!”  “You never listen to me! Its so frustrating!”

14.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPtqLDh pY1Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPtqLDh pY1Y  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uf7G92 KWJU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uf7G92 KWJU