1. F ROM B ARRIERS TO G ROWTH : Fostering Resiliency through Relationship Development ~ Brendon Bassett ~

2. L EARNING O BJECTIVES Understand a “Life Cycle” framework and basic characteristics for stages of relationship development Develop concrete connections between the relationship development process and outcomes for youth. Learn some initial strategies and language for supporting volunteers in providing impactful relationships for youth

3. EXPECTATIONS MediaFamilyCulture

4. S HIFTING F ROM “A UTO -P ILOT ” TO “M IND F ULLNESS ”

5. “Traditional” Relationship Model

6. R ELATIONSHIP “L IFE CYCLE ” DISCOVERY CHALLENGE GROWTH

7. W HY IS THE “L IFE C YCLE ” C ONCEPT I MPORTANT F OR M ENTORS ? Manages Expectations- What’s Normal? Recognize opportunities for growth in challenge Demands more engagement with process

8. RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT “The Cycle”

9. “D ISCOVERY ” What it can look like Quiet/uninterested “Honeymoon” phase Setting Limits Exploring Interests New Information/Inputs

10. “C HALLENGE ” What it can look like Testing Limits Role Confusion Unexpected responses Developmental shifts

11. “G ROWTH ” Closeness & Intimacy Increased disclosure Redefining relationship Adjusting Transition?

12. KEY C HARACTERISTICS OF THE L IFE C YCLE C ONCEPT NOT Linear Usually occurs in repeated cycles throughout the life of the match. Different for Every Match Start with assumption of challenge and change Closeness from Conflict Response to challenge becomes the focus

13. R ELATIONSHIP D EVELOPMENT F OR A T -R ISK Y OUTH Chaotic environments Victims of abuse “Adult-like” expectations Poverty Racism How can relationship development have IMPACT?

14. C OGNITIVE S CHEMA “Cognitive schema serve as organizers of meaning about all aspects of one’s world view including relational views toward self, other, and the world” “Cognitive schema, when triggered, are capable of generating automatic thoughts, strong affect, behavioral tendencies. David M. Fresco, PhD.- "Cognitive Reframing" Kent University 2011

15. P OTENTIAL I MPACT F OR R ELATIONSHIPS Predispose us to negative reaction “I know what’s going to happen here… and it’s not good!” “Missing” schemata “I’ve never been here before, so I’m not really sure what I am supposed to be doing!” Differing schemata “Well, in my world…”

16. “C OGNITIVE R EFRAMING ”

17. I NDIVIDUAL R EFRAMING W ORK “Reflective Practice”- breakdown our response: Pause, Reflect and Reframe Explore attributions Work toward a strengths-based approach OTHERS??

18. W ITHIN THE R ELATIONSHIP

19. S TRUCTURE 1. Consistency can address schematic issues and internal messaging around long term relationship development 2. Planning activities together allows development of intentionality in making choices and understanding consequences 3. Milestones and ceremony

20. M ODELING Providing alternative models allows youth to make choices about the results of differing choices and courses of action. Builds alternative narratives for how people can live their lives, what options are available, etc.. Move from modeling to accompanying Potential result: “You’ve done this before, so you can do it again!”