1. Chapter 5: Verbal Messages
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2. Verbal Messages Verbal refers to oral and written words
Verbal messages without words (laughter, vocalized pauses such as “um” or “erm”) are nonverbal
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3. Verbal Messages (cont.)
Metacommunication
“Meta” – about
Metacommunication, metalanguage, metamessage
“Don’t talk to me that way.”
“We need to talk about our fight.”
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4. Principles of Verbal Messages
Messages are packages of verbal and nonverbal signals
The meaning of a message is in the people, not the message itself; meanings are in people, not words
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5. Principles of Verbal Messages
Meanings are connotative and denotative
Denotative – objective
Connotative – subjective, emotional
Snarl words, purr words – highly emotionally charged negative or positive
Messages vary in abstractness
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6. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Messages vary in politeness
Maintain positive face – seen positively or respected
Maintain negative face – stay autonomous
Indirect language is more polite
Cultural differences
In-group and out-group messages
Politeness online
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7. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Meanings can deceive
Types of lies:
Pro-social deception to achieve good
Self-enhancing deception to make yourself look good
Selfish deception to protect yourself
Anti-social deception to harm others
Ways people lie
Behaviors of liars
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8. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Messages can criticize and praise
Praising
Use I-messages
Use positive facial affect (express your feelings)
Name the behavior you’re praising
Consider culture
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9. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Messages can criticize and praise (cont.)
Criticizing
Own your thoughts and feelings with I-messages
Be clear
Avoid ordering or directing
Consider the context or situation
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10. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Messages vary in assertiveness
“I win, you win” philosophy even in confrontation
Assertiveness varies culturally
Steps to assertive communication
Describe the problem
State how it affects you
Propose workable solutions
Confirm understanding
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11. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Messages can confirm and disconfirm
Disconfirmation –ignores the other person’s presence and communication; leads to lowered self-esteem
Rejection – disagree or reject the person’s ideas or behaviors but still recognize the person
Confirmation – acknowledges and accepts the other person; leads to increased self-esteem
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13. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Offensive communication is disconfirming
Language reflects and creates attitudes
Intentional or unintentional
Individual -isms
Institutional -isms
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14. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Offensive language is disconfirming (cont.)
Ableism – against people with disabilities
Racism – assumption of inferiority
Heterosexism – includes assuming that everyone is heterosexual
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15. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Offensive language is disconfirming (cont.)
Ageism –toward elderly but includes other ages
Sexism – gender-biased language includes such as “generic he”
Biased listening
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16. Principles of Verbal Messages (cont.)
Messages vary in cultural sensitivity
Cultural identifiers – language to talk to and about people of different groups
Race and nationality
Affectional (sexual) orientation
Age
Sex and gender
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17. Guidelines for Using Verbal Messages Effectively
Extensionalize: avoid intensional orientation
Intensional orientation – view labels rather than things or people as they exist
Extensional orientation – view people or things as they are rather than how they are talked about their labels
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18. Guidelines (cont.) See the individual: avoid allness
Allness orientation – judge whole based on experience with part
Nonallness orientation – there is always more to know and say
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19. Guidelines (cont.)
Distinguish between facts and inferences: avoid fact-inference confusion
Factual statements – description based on things you observed
Inferential statements – conclusions based on what you observed
Fact-inference confusion
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20. Guidelines (cont.) Discriminate among: avoid discrimination
Indiscrimination –stereotyping; focus on group instead of each unique member within group
Discrimination – recognize that not member in the group is alike
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21. Guidelines (cont.) Talk about the middle: avoid polarization
Polarization – fallacy of either/or
Thinking in extremes makes us forget other possibilities
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22. Guidelines (cont.) Update messages: avoid static evaluation
Static evaluation – keep attitudes and beliefs about someone despite inevitable changes
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