1. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Domestic violence is abuse that happens between members of the same family or persons involved in a close relationship: husband/wife; boyfriend/girlfriend; same-sex couple; parent/child; adult child/elderly parent. The majority of victims are women. We have listed below four types of domestic violence: ● Emotional/verbal abuse: threats, name-calling, words that hurt and/or humiliate. ● Physical abuse: slapping, kicking, shaking, punching, choking, beating. ● Sexual abuse: unwanted touching; forcing an adult or child to engage in sexual acts against his or her will. This may be known as rape and/or incest. ● Property or economic abuse: destroying or stealing a person’s belongings, forcing an adult to become economically dependent for his/her basic needs or by controlling his/her money.

2. You have the right: ► not to be abused ► to freedom from fear and abuse ► to request and expect assistance from police or social service agencies ► to share your feelings and not to be isolated from others ► to privacy ► to legally prosecute your abuser

3. BATTERED WOMEN’S ACTION PLAN Make a plan for what you will do the next time your partner assaults you: ♦ Decide NOW where you will go and how you will get there the next time your partner becomes violent. Do this even if you really don’t think there will be a next time. ♦ Leave some money, an extra set of car keys and extra clothes at a neighbor’s or with someone you trust. ♦ Keep important documents (birth certificates, medical records, marriage license, financial records, etc.) hidden near an exit or at a neighbor’s or friend’s house. ♦ Develop a code word with your children, neighbors and friends to lets them know you need to get out immediately. ♦ Provide your children’s teachers and school principal with enough information about your situation for them to respond supportively. Ask them not to release the children to your spouse should you report to them that you are about to leave the home.

4. ♦ Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons or near other places where there are sharp or heavy objects. ♦ If he seems to be “building up” and you can’t leave safely, keep your back towards an open space, not a corner. ♦ If you leave, always try to take your children with you. ♦ Keep any evidence of physical abuse (ripped clothing, photographs of bruises and injuries, etc.). ♦ Tell someone you know and trust what is happening to you so that if you need to get out of your home in a hurry, you will have someone you can turn to. ♦ If you are injured, go to the hospital emergency room or doctor and tell them what happened to you.

5. FACTS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Statistics indicate that every 12 seconds a woman is beaten by her husband, boyfriend, or lover. Battering happens to women of every culture, age, color, nationality and educational socio-economic level. ■ Of the children who witness domestic violence, 60% of the boys eventually become batterers, and 50% of the girls become victims. ■ Police officers spend at least 1/3 of their time responding to domestic violence calls. ■ 64% of all women will be battered at some time in their lives. ■ 60% of battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.

6. ■ 95% of all spousal assaults are committed by men. ■ 81% of men who batter had fathers who abused their mothers. ■ Children raised in violent homes are 74% more likely to commit assault. ■ 52% of female murder victims are killed by their partners. ■ Battering is the single major cause of injury to women — more frequent than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. It is the leading cause of emergency room visits by women. ■ 1 in 4 female suicides were victims of family violence.

7. WHAT YOU CAN SAY Helpful things you can say to a friend you suspect is abused. 1. I’m afraid for your safety. 2. I’m afraid for the safety of your children. 3. It will only get worse. 4. We’re here for you when you are ready or when you are able to leave. 5. You deserve better than this.

8. You can help If you know a woman who is being battered, you can do the following: ◙ Be there as a friend, be non-judgmental, be a good listener. Give her support. ◙ Allow her to make her own decisions. ◙ Tell her she is not the only woman being beaten, and that no one deserves to be beaten. ◙ Find out if she is physically hurt. If so, help her to the hospital. ◙ You can help her report the assault to the police, if she wishes to do so. ◙ If you can, help her with transportation and child care. ◙ If she needs to leave home for her safety, you may be able to help her find a temporary home. In an emergency, invite her to stay with you if you think you will both be safe. ◙ Speak out against violence. There’s NO excuse for domestic violence!