1. Get Up and Bar the Door A Ballad

2. It was during the month of November. It was a happy time, when a housewife was boiling sausages in a pan. A cold fierce wind blew north and south. It crept under the door. The husband said to his wife, “Get up and bar the door!” A cold fierce wind blew north and south. It crept under the door. The husband said to his wife, “Get up and bar the door!”

3. “Can’t you see I am busy?! I will not bar the door!” “Can’t you see I am busy?! I will not bar the door!” A deal was made: The first person to utter a word would be the one to bar the door.

4. At midnig ht “Is this a rich man’s house or a poor man’s?” the thieves asked each other. But the husband and housewife didn’t say a word because they didn’t want to bar the door. “Is this a rich man’s house or a poor man’s?” the thieves asked each other. But the husband and housewife didn’t say a word because they didn’t want to bar the door. Two thieves arrived in town. They couldn’t see anything, for it was so dark. Two thieves arrived in town. They couldn’t see anything, for it was so dark.

5. The house wife watched as the thieves ate all their food, but she didn’t say a word. The house wife watched as the thieves ate all their food, but she didn’t say a word. Then Robber #1 said to Robber #2, “Take my knife and cut off his beard while I kiss the lady.” Then Robber #1 said to Robber #2, “Take my knife and cut off his beard while I kiss the lady.”

6. “But there’s no water in the house!” said Robber #1. “But there’s no water in the house!” said Robber #1. “So then use the sausage gravy!” replied Robber #2. “So then use the sausage gravy!” replied Robber #2. That was enough for the husband. Angrily, he stood up. “How dare you kiss my wife in front of me and then shave me with sausage gravy?!?!??!” That was enough for the husband. Angrily, he stood up. “How dare you kiss my wife in front of me and then shave me with sausage gravy?!?!??!”

7. Then the housewife jumped up gleefully. Then the housewife jumped up gleefully. “Ha, ha!” she cried triumphantly. “You were the first to talk. Get up and bar the door!” “Ha, ha!” she cried triumphantly. “You were the first to talk. Get up and bar the door!”