1. 3 Secrets to a Successful Marriage FAMS 1150 Dr. Nate Cottle

2. Views of Marriage Competence 1.Something you either have or don’t ▫Marital IQ 2.Skills based, any one can do it if they learn certain skills ▫Communication Skills 3.The Truth: It is more about internal decisiveness (marital permanence) and added skills

3. Stability of the relationship Satisfaction of the relationship

4. To be stable Gottman’s research ▫Love lab Manage negativity ▫especially for men 5 to 1 Ratio 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse or Danger Signs

5. To be stable Danger Signs

6. To be stable Danger Signs

7. To be stable Danger Signs

8. To be stable Danger Signs

11. Calling Time Out Copyright © PREP Educational Products, Inc. 2008. All rights reserved. 303.759.9931.

12. What do you do after? Transformations: Fincham, F. D., Stanley, S. M., & Beach, S. H. (2007). Transformative Processes in Marriage: An Analysis of Emerging Trends. Journal Of Marriage & Family, 69(2), 275- 292. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00362.x

13. What do you do after? Transformations: ▫Forgiveness ▫Commitment ▫Trust ▫Satisfaction with Sacrifice ▫Accommodation ▫Sanctification “Is there an inherent capacity in many relationships for marital self-repair and relationship-generated change, even in the absence of outside intervention?”

14. What is left? To be happy All the other good stuff

15. All the other good stuff... Love ▫Romance ▫Date night Intimacy Communication ▫Openness ▫Understanding Commitment Teamwork Friendship Trust ▫Respect ▫Fidelity Time ▫Together and apart Selflessness Humor Compassion Forgiveness

16. The Recipe for a Healthy Relationship Manage your negativity Do something to repair your relationship when you have harmed it Engage in All the Other Good Stuff