1. SENTENCE LEVEL EDITING

2. GOAL To discover sentence fluency errors, to work on choosing stronger words, and to start playing with your sentence structure.

3. Put squiggly lines under words that seem weak, or informal. Especially look for the following: – GOT/GET/GETTING/PUT – BAD/GOOD/SAD/PRETTY/REALLY/VERY Words that are used incorrectly (do you think they went crazy with a Thesaurus??) – Mark these with WC WORD CHOICE EDIT 1

4. WORD CHOICE EDIT 2 NOW solidly underline words that you think are effective: – Words that offer strong description – Verbs that show action: (example: instead of got, lifted/grabbed with force, etc.)

5. EDIT 4 Highlight the first three or so words in each sentence. Are they all the same? Is there an alternative way you could phrase things?

6. EDIT 3: Partner read out Read each sentence of your essay out loud, starting with the LAST SENTENCE. Sentences should stand on their own, and you should be able to tell what is going on. If you cannot, then mark those sentences with “C” for Correct

7. Sentence Opening ideas Start with adjectives or adverbs. – Deep green, shiny, and clear, the emerald sparkled in the jeweler's case. (adjectives) – Loudly and insistently, my mother called me to dinner. (adverbs) Start with a prepositional phrase. – During rush hour, I avoid the freeway. Start with a participle or participial phrase. – Shouting his dog's name, Ross headed for the park. (present participial phrase) – Cooked to perfection, my father's meal beckoned us to eat. (past participial phrase) Start with an absolute phrase. – All things considered, it was a good day. You can also use more than one of these options, as in the following example: Quickly, without fanfare, Eliot handed out the gifts. (adverb + prepositional phrase)