1. Sex, Drugs and Tough Conversations Post Match Training 10.18.11

2. Ice Breaker Introduce with names Introduce with names How long have you been a Big? How long have you been a Big? How old is your Little? How old is your Little? One awkward conversation/topic you’ve discussed with your Little One awkward conversation/topic you’ve discussed with your Little

3. Video THE TALK THE TALK THE TALK THE TALK

4. Body Changes Between the ages of nine and seventeen adolescents bodies will began to change. Between the ages of nine and seventeen adolescents bodies will began to change. This type is change is called PUBERTY and everyone goes through it. This type is change is called PUBERTY and everyone goes through it. Puberty occurs when your body reaches a certain stage of growth and part of your brain gland signals your sex glands. Puberty occurs when your body reaches a certain stage of growth and part of your brain gland signals your sex glands.

5. Puberty When teenagers hit puberty their body may become fatter, skinner, taller, more pimply, hairier and rounder. When teenagers hit puberty their body may become fatter, skinner, taller, more pimply, hairier and rounder. They may feel full of energy or lie around and sleep a lot They may feel full of energy or lie around and sleep a lot Moods may shift uncontrollably, surprising you and those around. Moods may shift uncontrollably, surprising you and those around.

6. Things to Say and Do…. Make sure the child knows what happening during puberty. Talk them about the changes in their body Make sure the child knows what happening during puberty. Talk them about the changes in their body Give them articles to read that will explain what their probably experiencing and then discuss. Give them articles to read that will explain what their probably experiencing and then discuss. Tell them that you know their going through some pretty dramatic changes in their body. Would you like to talk about them? Tell them that you know their going through some pretty dramatic changes in their body. Would you like to talk about them?

7. Sex Reports show that by the time they reach 18, 73% of males and 56% of females report being sexually active. Reports show that by the time they reach 18, 73% of males and 56% of females report being sexually active. Things teens should know Things teens should know The only real safe sex is no sex at all The only real safe sex is no sex at all If this is unrealistic then any sex must be protected sex If this is unrealistic then any sex must be protected sex Birth control will prevent pregnancy but not STD’s Birth control will prevent pregnancy but not STD’s Latex condoms are the best protection against disease but not 100% effective Latex condoms are the best protection against disease but not 100% effective

8. It’s okay for parents and mentors to let their views be known It’s okay for parents and mentors to let their views be known “You know that I think sex before marriage is not a great idea for anybody, but especially for teens” “You know that I think sex before marriage is not a great idea for anybody, but especially for teens” “I know you’re in a good relationship. I know you’ll remember what you’ve learned about safe sex and having respect for the other person” “I know you’re in a good relationship. I know you’ll remember what you’ve learned about safe sex and having respect for the other person” Sex can cause an untold number of problems from pregnancy to disease which is why I’m against if for kids your age Sex can cause an untold number of problems from pregnancy to disease which is why I’m against if for kids your age Don’t pretend your Little isn’t thinking about/wanting to have sex. Don’t pretend your Little isn’t thinking about/wanting to have sex.

9. Dating Age 16 is a good time to allow single dates. Before age 16 encourage your child to go out in groups Age 16 is a good time to allow single dates. Before age 16 encourage your child to go out in groups Talk about proper dating attitudes and behaviors Talk about proper dating attitudes and behaviors Encourage your child to talk about dates and his feelings Encourage your child to talk about dates and his feelings

10. Drugs, Alcohol and Cigarettes While use of these substances does not necessarily mean abuse, when young people use, the risk of abuse is extremely high – the earlier you start using, the higher the risk While use of these substances does not necessarily mean abuse, when young people use, the risk of abuse is extremely high – the earlier you start using, the higher the risk Society doesn’t give adolescents a consistent message. On the one hand they hear these substances lead to illness and death; on the other hand movies/music portray them as glamourous and exciting Society doesn’t give adolescents a consistent message. On the one hand they hear these substances lead to illness and death; on the other hand movies/music portray them as glamourous and exciting Things to do Things to do Show your Little your attitudes toward these substances through conversation and by setting the example Show your Little your attitudes toward these substances through conversation and by setting the example Talk with your Little about his/her knowledge and experience of them e.g. “Do any of your friends or kids at school drink? Sell drugs? Etc Talk with your Little about his/her knowledge and experience of them e.g. “Do any of your friends or kids at school drink? Sell drugs? Etc

11. Violence and Bullying Bullying Bullying 1. Is when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing. 2. Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status.

12. Violence and Bullying Bullying behavior can be physical or verbal. Bullying behavior can be physical or verbal. Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target.

13. Violence and Bullying 1 out of 4 teens are Bullied. 1 out of 4 teens are Bullied. As many as 160,000 students stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied. As many as 160,000 students stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied. 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying." 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying." It's estimated that 1 out of 4 elementary-school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are 30. It's estimated that 1 out of 4 elementary-school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are 30.

14. Things to say and do……. Keep good communication lines open Keep good communication lines open Know the school policies on bullying and teasing Know the school policies on bullying and teasing If you find your child being teased or talked about find out why he’s being teased and see if you can fix it. If you find your child being teased or talked about find out why he’s being teased and see if you can fix it. Talk to the child’s teachers and school adminstrators about the problem Talk to the child’s teachers and school adminstrators about the problem

15. Self Esteem Girls – body image issues, not getting enough attention, especially in school Girls – body image issues, not getting enough attention, especially in school Boys – less body image issues but get mainly negative attention Boys – less body image issues but get mainly negative attention Helping foster healthy self esteem is not about making kids feel good about themselves no matter what. It’s about helping them learn their strengths and weaknesses and having good relationships Helping foster healthy self esteem is not about making kids feel good about themselves no matter what. It’s about helping them learn their strengths and weaknesses and having good relationships Things to do- Things to do- Accept your Little for who they are and help them accept themselves as well Accept your Little for who they are and help them accept themselves as well Praise them for attempts and successes Praise them for attempts and successes Recognize that kids may hide their real feelings about themselves Recognize that kids may hide their real feelings about themselves

16. What Age for What Conversation First, it is important to be sure to speak to the child at their level. (EX), if you are answering your six year-old daughter’s questions regarding sex, you will approach it differently than if you were having the same type of conversation with your thirteen year old daughter. The main difference is that as your child gets older, you will need to be more descriptive and include more details than what would be required if that are younger

17. Tips for Tough Talks Timing is Everything Timing is Everything Practice Makes Perfect Practice Makes Perfect Is it hot in here? Is it hot in here? Stick to the basics Stick to the basics Initiate the conversation Initiate the conversation Watch for hidden Meaning Watch for hidden Meaning Be clear about your values Be clear about your values Research the source Research the source Act now Act now

18. Time for Questions?